I Love New Year: Canned But Not Devoid of Juice

If you decide to watch Sunny Deol-Kangana Ranaut starrer I Love New Year (stylized as ‘I Love NY’), which in all likelihood you would not, do not enter the theater with any pre-conceived notions. Yes, the film has been delayed for a couple of years and it is definitely not the best Hindi rom-com that you are likely to come across, but it is not unwatchable. In fact, I Love New Year genuinely tries to be different from run-of-the-mill rom-coms and attempts to tell a unbelievable story through believable means. Most of the film’s pitfalls are inflicted by the cruel fact that lost time and momentum makes any product stale and mediocre. Adding salt to the injury is Kangana Ranaut’s decision to mostly disassociate herself from the film and Sunny Deol’s lack of enthusiasm in promoting what is one of his better performances in recent times. More on this later.

Sunny Deol plays Randhir Singh, an ageing and unmarried Punjabi (no prizes for guessing that), who lives in Chicago with his father (Prem Chopra). A day before the new year, Randhir has a drinking binge with his friends and is in the process transported to New York. In New York, Randhir mistakes Kittu Verma’s (Kangana Ranaut) flat as his own and there begins a series of confusions and misunderstandings that spill well into the upcoming new year.

The film’s story is reportedly based on a popular Russian rom-com. That scope of inspiration aside, the story does have merits of its own. The premise of a drunk ageing bachelor from Chicago landing up straight in the bedroom of a young, vibrant girl in New York is quite tempting. Love as a subject has been so thoroughly explored by all the filmmakers that any innovation in ‘how they actually meet and fall in love’ ends up exciting me. The setting of the story is simple and real with most of the action unfolding inside an apartment. The indoor setting, the smooth flow of one scene into another, quirky and smart dialogues, they all set up a nice little mood for the film.

However, the bright side of the story and screenplay mostly ends here. There’s is too much left to chance and destiny in the whole proceedings. The film’s climax is rather underwhelming and you wonder if the film could have ended good 15-20 minutes before. As the film has seen the light of day after being in cold storage for long, there are some tacky dubbing and visual patches. The climax looks incomplete and the overall film does bear the stain of having a somewhat stale look.

Let;s now talk about the performances. Kangana Ranaut did not want this film to be released. When you will watch I Love New Year, you will exactly know the reasons behind the film’s leading lady’s inhibitions. Miss Ranaut perhaps did not want the film to release because her acting looks very unpolished and poor. In fact, there are some scenes where Kangana makes you laugh unintentionally because of her funny accent and problematic dialogue delivery. It is clear that she has come a long way in these two years and her apprehension about the film was very much related to her own performance. However, I sincerely feel that once a film has been completed, it becomes the producer’s property and the actor has little or no right to try and stall its release. Moreover, no matter how bad you were in your skills in the past or how fine-tuned you are now, an artist must stand by his or her work all the time. Specially, when big money and livelihood of many is at stake.

Sunny Deol gets out of his comfort zone and tries his best to give a sincere and composed performance. His chemistry with Kangana does look a little odd, largely because of the 30-year age canyon that separates the two. Though, Deol does a fine job of the difficult task assigned to him, you end up wondering why would have the makers thought of casting him in this role? Did they want to go for an unusual pairing? Then, why not choose an older actress opposite Deol or a younger actor opposite Kangana? I mean all the good acting talent of Deol and Kangana aside, there are some close-up scenes where the two look like father and daughter! T-Series should fire their casting director (or have they done that by now?).

I Love New Year’s biggest plus is Pritam’s music. From the peppy Gudd Naal Ishq Mitha to sombre Judaai, the film’s soundtrack is soothing and melodious. In fact, you may want to hunt for the film’s songs and download them – a definite good addition to your playlist. The film’s production value, editing, dubbing and sound design aren’t great. That’s most likely because of the huge gap between production and release of the film.

Overall, you feel letdown by I Love New Year, not because it’s a disastrous film, but because it’s been handled disastrously. What could have been a light, little rom-com is eventually a half-baked embarrassment that does more harm than benefit to reputation of everyone involved. Watch it if you want to see how mediocre Kangana was as an actor just a couple of years ago or if you want to see a calm, caring Sunny Deol who still has some acting chops left in him.

Rating: ** (Average)

The review is also published on Mad About Moviez.

Guddu Rangeela Review: High on Promise, Low on Delivery

Guddu Rangeela is a prominent singer in Bhojpuri music industry, famous or rather infamous for his songs that are laced with sexual innuendos and crass lyrics. Subhash Kapoor’s film Guddu Rangeela, on the contrary, opens with an absolutely riveting ‘modern devotional song’- Mata Ka Email. While many may not be familiar with the Bhojpuri singer Guddu Rangeela, but the irony of the film, with that same notorious name, starting with a hilarious devotional song will not be lost on someone from Bihar. Sadly, despite a funny start and a reasonably exciting mid-point, Subhash Kapoor’s film squanders its potential in a dreary, lost second half.

The film is set in the rural milieu of Haryana, a land known for its notorious Khap panchayats, local political strongmen and a society marred by deep caste divides. Guddu (Amit Sadh) and Rangeela (Arshad Warsi) are brothers who pose as local orchestra players but are in reality petty thieves-cum-informers who tip off organized burglary gangs about potential wealthy households. Circumstances embroil the brothers into a kidnapping incident where it turns out that their supposed victim Baby (Aditi Rao Hydari) has dragged them into a game plan of her own. Also in the frame is Billu Pehelwan (Ronit Roy), a local MLA and Khap strongman who has a past to share with all the three protagonists – Guddu, Rangeela and Baby.

To be fair to the writer-director Subhash Kapoor, Guddu Rangeela does have an enticing premise beaming with great promise. Although, the film is riddled by numerous sub-plots, they never really drag down the film. What pulls the film down is its meandering screenplay and treatment in the second half. You are confused about the intentions of the maker as to what exactly he is trying to dish out – a social commentary, a satire, a crime-thriller, a comedy, or wait, a love story? The tacky Guddu-Baby love song in the second half comes out of nowhere and unnecessarily drags the film’s run time. Similarly, there are some unwanted and long cat-and-mouse sequences where Guddu and Rangeela, or their brethren, land in a soup, only to come out of it unscathed. The film’s climax is also not executed perfectly with the numerous unpolished sub-plots suddenly raising their hands to get noticed. And yes, there’s an attempt to deliver a lecture on futility of Khaps and women empowerment towards the end. That entire scene is so preachy and somewhat embarrassing that you shift in your seat a little.

But at heart, Guddu Rangeela is a harmless comical affair. As pointed earlier, the film has a breezy first half that is sprinkled with ample doses of humor – humor that is overt but also tastefully subtle at times. The camaraderie of brothers, Arshad Warsi and Amit Sadh, is pretty cool and together they look like a team of goons-with-noble-hearts that you feel like rooting for. While Amit Sadh plays the more extrovert and ‘rangeen’ Guddu (I wonder why he was not named Rangeela, given his penchant for flings), Arshad Warsi plays the more restrained but much-wittier Rangeela. Arshad Warsi is in form here after a long time and gets to mouth a bulk of the film’s quirky, excellent dialogues. Amit Sadh is well-suited for his role and Aditi Rao Hydari does a fantastic job of her relatively sizable role in the first half. The romantic angle between the two is little inexplicable and largely untapped. Among the support cast, Rajeev Gupta emerges as a show-stealer in the role of a Haryanawi Police officer whose innocence and superb comic timing belies the stereotypical portrayal of corrupt police officers in Hindi films. Ronit Roy looks menacing as the antagonist and seamlessly picks up a thick but believable Haryanawi accent.

Overall, Guddu Rangeela is one of those films that makes you think – ‘only if they could have done this differently’. A kind of film that you want to laud for its merits but you also cannot ignore its glaring loopholes. Watch this Subhash Kapoor film because it has some genuinely funny dialogues, a tempting premise and a couple of actors with great comic timing. Give it a miss, if you are absolutely averse to complicated subplots and lengthy ‘trapped-and-rescued’ sequences.

Rating: **1/2 (Average)

Travel Diaries: Because Diu Was Long Due

'Nothing spoils you like good travel'. I texted this message to a friend while conversing with her about how difficult it is to get on with your 'routine' life just after you are back from a memorable vacation. She was quick to understand my sentiments (she had been a long 'city' vacation herself) and both of us realized that a couple of weeks and a dozen Instagram pictures may never suffice for the incredible memories one gathers while traveling, living and loving.

Diu happened by sudden desire, spontaneity and an early morning decision to just go there. It is unbelievable how you plan to go somewhere forever but never really make it. I think it's the calling that decides where and when you will end up. I had always been intrigued by the tiny UT of Daman and Diu and being the only Indian alive to have NOT been to Goa, I was really keen to explore a place that is referred by many as Goa without its crowd and commercialization.

Some early research busted three of my initial myths. One - Daman and Diu were far apart, some 640 kms away from each other by road. So, it is best suited to plan a trip to the prettier, cleaner and calmer Diu rather than Daman. 

Two, Diu is not a very frequented travel destination (one of the reasons for my wish to go there) and hence there is very little or rather negligible travel information and reviews available on the Internet. The ones that are available are from commercial websites that use so many adjectives that it becomes difficult to distinguish Daryaganj from Diu. 

Three, Diu is not Goa. I don't know (yet) what Goa is like. But Diu is definitely not Goa. It is something else. Diu is Diu. One of its kind.

Early morning jog at the Nagoa beach.

How to reach Diu? 

Diu is not the easiest travel destination if you are planning to go there from Delhi. The best and quickest bet is to plan an air travel via Mumbai well in advance that will cost you around 8,000 INR for the round trip. Remember that there is only a single flight from Mumbai to Diu every day and if you book your flights wisely, the overall journey from Delhi to Diu will not take more than 6 hours.

Alternatively, if you are not short on time, you can reach Diu from Delhi by aggregating two train trips - first and the longer one that takes you from Delhi to Ahmedabad (14 hours overnight journey) and the second train journey that is shorter but more tiring - from Ahmedabad to Veraval, the nearest rail head from Diu (90 Kms away). The journey from Ahmedabad to Veraval takes approximately 10 hours. From Veraval, you will have to book a taxi to Diu, which will take another couple of hours. So, in total you will take at least 36 hour to reach Diu from Delhi via two trains and a taxi journey. 

The choice is yours. If you want to soak in the Gujarat countryside and relish a train ride, and most importantly, are not short on time, the train journey option is fun and fulfilling. And if you are the high flying kind, who thinks airports are more poetic than railway stations, go for the Via Mumbai flying option. The quiet, little Diu airport takes you by surprise for its, hold your breath, diminutiveness.

Diu from 16000 ft above the ground

Where to Stay in Diu?

Diu does not have many fancy places to stay or let's say it will not offer you any luxury that you normally associate with travel destinations these days. Trust only the top 10 hotels listed on popular travel websites and water down your expectations before you land in Diu. Hotel Palms Resort (my hideout in Diu), Hoka, Radhika Beach Resort and Azzaro are some of the good places to stay in Diu.

The best part about staying in Hotel Palms is the almost-private beach that you get as a bonus. The resort is away from the hustle bustle of the popular Nagoa beach and is situated right in front of the secluded and picturesque Kodidhar beach. 

So, set out for a morning walk on the long and remarkably clean beaches, go out for a stroll in the evening, have a bottle of beer or two (dispose the empty bottle responsibly!), read a book by the seaside or do nothing. Simply sit and feel amazed at the sheer vastness of the Arabian Sea.

Sea waves at the Kodidhar beach. Right in front of Hotel Palms

Sunrise at the Kodidhar beach

What to Do in Diu?

You can choose to do nothing in Diu. And yet, never get bored. The island has an innate tranquilizing and calming quality that lets you unwind and relax. 

But, there are some magical places in and around the city that present a heady blend of  Diu's historic connection with the Portuguese and its mesmerizing geographical location at the edge of the Arabian sea. Hire a cycle, a bike (at 300 INR per day approx) or a car (at 1500 INR per day) and zip through the well-built roads that connect all the major tourist attractions. Sample these:

1. The stunning Diu fort. Built by the Portuguese. Frequented by Gujjus.

A part of the Diu Fort

Pani Ka Kotha right in the middle of the sea. As seen from the Diu Fort

Tourists at Diu Fort

2. The most breathtaking location in all of Diu - The INS Khukri Memorial

View from the INS Khukri Memorial

The Open Air Theatre at the INS Khukri Memorial

3. The intriguing Naida Caves

Not sure what/who built the Naida Caves. It's either the nature or the Portuguese

4. The historic St. Paul's church

St Paul's Church is one of the few functional Portuguese churches in Diu

St. Paul's Church - Front View

5. The abandoned church in Fudam

The mostly abandoned church in Fudam, Diu

6. The Gangeshwar Mahadev Temple - Where the sea pays obedience to Lord Shiva

The unique Gangeshwar Temple with five Shiva Lingas.
The sea waves come running in every now and then.

7. The sunrise and sunset at Nagoa beach

Sunset at Nagoa beach

The morning Sun's abandoned chariot. As found near the Nagoa beach

Mornings be like.

Mornings be like.

Early morning sight at the Nagoa beach

8. St. Thomas Church and Museum

Portuguese statues and artifacts at the St. Thomas church

Where to eat in Diu?

Getting good food in Diu is an issue. Most restaurants serve Punjabi and Chinese cuisine that does not taste like Punjabi and Chinese food! Hoka has a nice little cafe that serves good continental food. The only restaurant that serves good, authentic Gujarati in whole of Diu is Bamaniya restaurant, a nondescript gem on the main highway that connects Nagoa beach and the airport to the Diu city.

First encounter with white jaggery or 'Gudd' 

The sumptuous Bajra Na Rotla and Baigan Bharta. With some chilli fry and Gudd. 

I believe when you find it difficult to express through fluidity of words, you opt for frozen pictures. And that's why I have put up more pictures than words to make a case for Diu. :)

This small and quiet island is sans all the frills attached to a beach vacation these days. Truly, ilha de calma that the Diu tourism claims it to be. Go, find peace, find love or simply find yourself in Diu. 

And here is the customary 'I Love Diu' picture. 

I love Diu Vs. I loved you

P.S: Be careful while you say 'I love Diu' to your girl. She might construe it as 'I loved you'. And that will be the end of the game.

I traveled to Diu in June when the temperature was pretty high. Best time to travel to Diu is August-March. Or simply, whenever you feel like.

All the pictures in the post are clicked by the blogger. Don't reproduce/reuse without permission. For more pictures from Diu and other places, follow the blogger at Instagram - @ashishanant 

ABCD 2 Review: Bigger, Better and Spectacular at Places

Remo D’souza is a brave man. He mostly resists the temptation of going for 'typical Bollywood' choreography and dishes out some lovely psychedelic, hip-hop, Broadway and other western dance forms in ABCD 2, sequel to his 2013 hit ABCD (Any Body Can Dance). I am not an authority to comment on the quality and level of dancing, but as an average movie lover seated in the theater, much of the choreography in ABCD 2 gives you goosebumps. Your limbs twirl a little and a bit of shiver runs down your spine during several dance sequences in the film – especially during Prabhu Deva’s stunning introductory dance number and the exhilarating Ganesha formation towards the climax. More on that later.

Despite song and dance being an integral part of syncretic Indian culture and particularly Bollywood films, genuine Hindi dance films are as rare as rains in Rajasthan. Director-choreographer Remo bucked the trend with ABCD in 2013, which featured an ensemble cast of relatively unknown reality show dancing gems. With ABCD 2, Remo ups the ante by assembling perhaps the finest bunch of dancer-actors, led by young stars Varun Dhawan and Shradha Kapoor. The film is not exactly a sequel but rather a new installment in the ABCD franchise with only Prabhu Deva reprising his role of Vishnu – a dance guru like no other.

Like any other dance film, ABCD 2 has a wafer-thin storyline that traces the real-life journey of a disgraced dance troupe from Nallasopara, Mumbai that resurrects its reputation and represents India in the World Hip-Hop competition in Las Vegas. The troupe is led by Suresh (Varun Dhawan) and comprises his childhood friend Vinnie (Shradha Kapoor), Raghu (Raghav Juyal), Vernon (Sushant Pujari) and a host of other talented dancers which we have seen performing in numerous television shows.

The film has a breezy and hugely entertaining first half where, rather surprisingly, Prabhu Deva walks away with all the whistles courtesy his dancing and comic timing. The legendary dancer’s elastic moves leave you in awe in the song 'Happy Hour Hai' and you wish you could have seen more of Vishnu sir's fabled dancing in the film. There are some other lovely dance routines in the first half and a neat little twist towards the intermission to keep you hooked.

However, things get a little haywire post intermission when the story and screenplay of the film start to crumble under their own weight. There are some unpolished and needless subplots that only add to the overall length of the film and prohibit it from becoming truly great and spectacular. Things change for better after Lauren Gottlieb makes a late but electrifying entry through the song 'Tere Naam Ka Tattoo'. The song is so energetic and embellished with superior and glamorous dance moves that you almost forget and forgive the twenty odd minutes of agony post interval. Full points to Lauren for making a massive impact in what is a pretty shortened role. Her dancing caliber is amply displayed in the mesmerizing hip-hop tribute to Lord Ganesha in the song 'Hey Ganaraya'. This dance sequence is so beautifully choreographed and conceptualized that you wish it could have been the climax of the film. But sadly, even after reaching this crescendo, the film meanders along for quite some time and the dance performances never really attain the same 'high'.

Talking of loose ends, the film never reveals the motive behind the alleged plagiarism against the protagonist and his dance team. Some of the dance sequences in the second half seem to be stretched and attaining the climax becomes quite a task towards the end! These loopholes aside, the film gets its casting spot on with Varun Dhawan stamping his authority as one of the finest dancers in Bollywood. The young actor, however, is no match for Prabhu Deva, in the only sequence where the two share the dance floor, but you got to give credit to Varun Dhawan for being the heart and soul of ABCD 2. Shradha Kapoor surprises with her dancing talent and does a fine job of role as Vinnie. All the other actors in the film are terrific dancers or should I say vice-versa? Specially, for Raghav Juyal whose comic timing is very much aimed at the galleries.

The scale and canvas of ABCD 2 is mind-boggling with top-notch choreography – something that you expect when Remo and other top names collaborate, fascinating cinematography (Vijay Arora) and intelligent use of special effects. Much of the film’s soundtrack is enjoyable, thanks to Sachin-Jigar's soulful compositions. Editing, one feels, could have definitely been tighter and the screenplay could have surely avoided some of the deviations.

But, all said and done, ABCD 2 is a thorough entertainer that takes Indian dance films to an all-new level. A film that gets your heart pumping and your body grooving even while you are seated, and never really lets you down despite its near three hour long run time. Go out in the theater with your dancing shoes on, grab your popcorn and behold the spectacle of dancing brilliance!

Rating: ***1/2 (Very Good)

Box Office: Why Should Bollywood be Wary of Its American Big Brother?

Hardly a week back, Rajkumar Hirani and Vidhu Vinod Chopra threw a bash in Mumbai to celebrate PK’s unprecedented success in China – an unconventional and largely untapped territory for Hindi films. The event was attended by a visibly beefed up Aamir Khan, Anushka Sharma and other cast and crew of the film. Around the same time, in the same bustling and humid Mumbai, the members of the fabled Bhatt Camp were huddling and wondering what exactly went wrong with their ambitious Hamari Adhuri Kahani. Like they say, every Friday fortunes fluctuate in Mumbai and few would know it better than the Bhatt brothers – Mahesh and Mukesh – who produced the Emraan Hashmi-Vidya Balan starrer. So while PK has taken Bollywood to dizzying new heights (in terms of business) by grossing over a staggering 100 crores in China, back home in India, things do not look so bright for a film that’s backed by one of the most reliable and profitable film production houses.

But, what went wrong with Hamari Adhuri Kahani? Bad reviews? Not really, because it’s not rare for a Bhatt camp film to be panned by critics. In fact, Mahesh Bhatt and his ilk have a firm grip over the mood and nerve of the masses. They know what works in huge swaths of India that resides outside metros and big cities and that’s precisely the formula behind their production house’s roaring success in the last decade, irrespective of how the critics receive the film. Then, what killed Hamari Adhuri Kahani? Apart from its own glaring misgivings, the film was seemingly chomped down by rampaging dinosaurs of Jurassic World who rode straight into the hearts of the Indian masses, leaving behind a weeping Vidya Balan and a shocked Emraan Hashmi. Yes, you read it right.

Here are some facts that tell us how Hollywood is slowly but surely posing a serious challenge to Bollywood:

1. With the super success of films like Fast and Furious 7, Avengers: The Age of Ultron and now Jurassic World, the writing is clear on the wall for our desi producers. They do not just need to watch out for potential box office clashes with ‘Khan Films’, but they also need to be wary of big Hollywood releases – especially films that are successful franchises or fall in the action/sci-fi genre. Sample this – Fast and Furious 7 released on the same day as Detective Byomkesh Bakshy and easily trumped it to emerge the winner at the box office. The first week collection of Detective Byomkesh Bakshy was a paltry 19.75 crores. Contrast it with Fast and Furious 7, which grossed around 70 crores in week 1 and then went on to become the highest grossing Hollywood film ever in India with lifetime business of a remarkable 110 crores. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that Detective Byomkesh Bakshy, already a niche multiplex film, was swept away by the rampaging F&F franchise.The history seems to have repeated itself with Hamari Adhuri Kahani and Jurassic World. While the Hindi film could only mint 16 Crores in its opening weekend with virtually no growth and a poor trend, the Dinosaur franchise went from strength to strength and garnered close to 30 crores in its opening weekend with a very healthy trend.
2. While Bollywood producers are rightly vying for more and more overseas business and going into foreign territories that no one ever imagined before, back home the domestic audience also seems to have matured and developed a definitive, distinct taste. Any Bollywood product with mediocre content (Bombay Velvet, Hamari Adhuri Kahani) is summarily rejected and only films with good content (Piku, TWMR) are accepted. With ticket prices soaring, the audience is not ready to compromise on content until and unless the film is spearheaded by a massive star (read the Khans). Interestingly, the same junta is taking up to ‘event’ Hollywood films with disaster, sci-fi and action themes in a big way. Even content driven Hollywood films like Gravity, Life of Pi and Inception have started to make a mark at the Indian box office with collections going well into tenth and eleventh weeks!
3. Hollywood films have the great advantage of big studio backing which allows them to dub in regional languages. This ensures that the overall business of these films in India goes up significantly. Imagine this – more than 50% of Jurassic World’s business in India is driven by dubbed regional versions. On the other hand, growing number of multiplexes in the country has encouraged the Hindi filmmakers to make films that cater only a niche segment of the audience. For example, although Zoya Akhtar’s Dil Dhadakne Do should manage to earn profits, most of its revenue is coming only from 4-5 big cities like Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and Pune. The film’s collections in mass belts like Bihar, CP and Rajasthan is very low.So, while Hollywood is solidifying its net collections through dubbed versions, Hindi films are losing out their pan-India appeal. There are hardly four to five Hindi films every year that can boast of healthy all India business. A point to ponder for the producers?

It can be easily said that Hollywood is at its strongest best at the Indian box office right now. With continued flow of mediocre Hindi films, very few big-budget and star-driven films and more and more niche films in the offing, the time is ripe for the big American Daddy to conquer the Indian market which has so far proved to be elusive. Not suggesting that the dinosaurs and the ETs are going to run riot in India and throw the Hindi films out of the window, but there’s a definite nudge, or rather a push, from the high and mighty Hollywood. And the push is big enough for Bollywood to sit back and notice.

The Story of June

A milestone so significant
At the halfway stage
Of a beautiful beginning
And an eventual end

A notch ahead of
Memories of March
A tad behind
Occurrences of October

Somewhat like
The mid-day Sun
Burning with desire
But living by fire

Those who live
Are mostly burnt
Only a few survive to tell
The Story of June.

All Rights Reserved. Original Image Used by Blogger. Clicked in Diu, India.

Hamari Adhuri Kahani: Shockingly Regressive and Melodramatic

There are good films and there are bad films. And then there are some films that are so unbelievably bad that you feel like shouting - why did they make this film!!? Hamari Adhuri Kahani, the latest melodramatic overdose from the Bhatt camp, is so regressive, unbelievable, over-the-top and nauseating that you stop expecting anything within half an hour into the film. Mohit Suri, the film's director, has a reasonable track record with good little films like Kalyug, Awarapan and Woh Lamhe under his belt. In fact, Suri has also been at the helm of affairs for three consecutive blockbusters for the Bhatt Camp in the recent past - Ek Villain, Aashiqui 2 and Murder 2.

Apart from a credible director, the film boasts of three fine actors in form of Vidya Balan, Emraan Hashmi and Rajkumar Rao, but the end product is so mediocre, pointless and boring that even you, as regular moviegoer, would like to hang your head in shame. Hamari Adhuri Kahani's biggest lacuna is its kahani itself. Mahesh Bhatt and Shagufta Rafiq's story is so contrived, half-baked and dipped with horrendous dialogues that it can make 80s cinema look like sparking pieces of art. In fact, some of the dialogues are so cheesy and loaded that you silently giggle in your mind and think how they would become a rage once the dubsmash milieu laps them up!

Both Emraan and Vidya mouth some of the worst written lines that one can remember in recent times, but the cherry on the top is saved for Emraan's mother who looks at Vidya and asks his son, "Kaun Hai Ye Banjaran?" Not just that, she even goes on to lecture her on how its time she stopped being 'Sita' and became 'Radha'! Phew! Such rhetorical verbal stone pelting may have been 'cool' in the 80s but is definitely out-of-date and bogus for current times. It is annoying when none of the characters in the film talk to each other in simple words. They are all perennially grim, look heavily constipated and thrash each other with verbal and metaphorical bricks. There is a constant and disturbing imagery of flowers and a VFX-enabled climax in a "valley of flowers" near Bastar (I am sure no place like that excists near Bastar) that looks so odd that it makes special effects of Mallika Sherawat's Hisss look pretty cool.

For those of you who are still interested in the film's story and plot - Vidya Balan plays Vasudha Prasad, a young mother of a 5-year, old whose husband Hari, played by Rajkumar Rao, leaves her an year after the marriage. We are told that Hari is a really bad guy because he has forced Vasudha to get his name tattooed on her arm, and constantly evokes their saat janam ka rishta, sanskaar and peedhiyon se chali aa rahi sanskriti. Vidya, on the other hand, is the lady in distress who always clutches at her mangalsutra as if it were a trophy, but eventually is serenaded by Aarav, played by Emraan Hashmi, the billionaire hotelier who has his own sad past.

It's tough to digest how the film's writers reinforce regressive mindset and beliefs by investing too much in symbolism of a mangalsuktra, pati parmeshwar, sanskaar and then foolishly try to fake feminism towards the climax with an artificial Durga imagery. The principal characters in the film are mere caricatures and lack soul, motive and purpose. You never really take up to Vidya's tears or understand Emraan's fetish fatale with her. Strangely, you do not even hate Rajkumar Rao's character and pity him for landing up a role that lacks layering and conviction.

From Sujoy Ghosh's Kahaani in 2012 to Mohit Suri's Hamari Adhuri Kahani in 2015, life seems to have come full circle for a certain Vidya Balan. Be it the traditional yet poignant Lalita in Parineeta (2005), the chirpy RJ Jhanvi of Lagey Raho Munnabhai (2006), the hysterical but effective Avni of Bhool Bhulaiyaa (2007), the shrewd Krishna of Ishqiya (2010), the spirited and seductress Silk in The Dirty Picture (2011) or the feisty Vidya of Kahaani (2012) - Vidya Balan has given us some of the most memorable female characters in recent times. With Hamari Adhuri Kahani, Balan nosedives to a new low in her career, so much so, that it not just hurts but even shocks you to believe that she gave her consent for a film as regressive, ridiculous and nauseating as this. Emraan Hashmi looks disinterested and the film does little justice to his acting potential or even his kissing caliber! Rajkumar Rao is wasted magnificently and it is painful to see an actor as brilliant as him to do a poorly written role as this. The film's support cast borders on being incompetent with the actor playing Emraan Hashmi's mother looking naive in her dialogue delivery and younger than Vidya Balan even with those fake grey strands.

The film's music does not live up to the melodious reputation of the Bhatt camp. Except for "Humnava" none of the songs have that repeat value or a humming quality that sticks on to you. The film's cinematography (Vishnu Rao) is below par, so is the background score that uselessly tries to build up tempo in this lethargic, boring film.

Overall, Hamari Adhuri Kahani will easily qualify as one of the biggest letdowns of recent times; specially for Vidya Balan who has wowed us with stellar performances in the past. This is one film that you can definitely miss and thank this reviewer for saving you your hard-earned money. 

Rating: * (Poor)

Box-Office Analysis: Lessons from TWMR and Piku Success

The Hindi film industry can’t hide its excitement. Almost like a young girl going out on her first official date with her childhood crush. The buzz in Mumbai is that ‘Acche Din’ are finally here and there’s now no looking back at what has been a disastrous, to put it in polite words, first few months of 2015 at the box office. With not a single ‘Super Hit’, forget about Blockbusters, and hardly a couple of clean ‘Hits’ in the Jan-May period, the industry was clearly looking down the barrel in terms of business and revenue. But, with Tanu Weds Manu Returns (TWMR) getting a phenomenal response from the audiences all across the country, we are all set to witness the first Blockbuster of 2015. Yes, you read it right. That elusive blockbuster is finally off the block!

TWMR’s weekend collection was over 38 Crores INR, the biggest opening weekend of the year, closely matching the collections of a much-bigger film like Gabbar Is Back. In the overseas market, the film raked in close to 15 Crores, again the highest opening weekend in overseas this year, beating the previous best of 12 Crores set by Piku couple of weeks back. On the face value, these numbers may look pretty healthy but not exactly path-breaking. However, if you dig a little deeper and analyze the overall film business scenario, you will realize that TWMR is nothing less than a thunderstorm in this prolonged period of dryness at the Box Office.

If the weekend business of TWMR came as a much-needed relief to the industry, the film’s historic collections on Monday must have sparked off jubilations in the film circles. The film collected 8.5 Crores INR on its first Monday, which is equal to/slightly more than its Friday business. Such a strong hold of collections on Monday is literally unheard of in recent times and this ensures that the film will have long and strong run at the ticket windows for at least a couple of weeks. Now, 100 crores, that much-abused and much-publicized number, is definitely on the cards and the sky is the limit for TWMR, given the excellent trend at the box office.

But, for Bollywood, success of TWMR and Piku (expected India Business to be more than 80 crores), another actress-oriented film that released in early May, signals a huge paradigm shift and a definite changed pattern in what differentiates success from failure. We list down a few box office lessons from TWMR and Piku:

1. Get the Budget Right:

Before the release of Piku on 8^th May, Bollywood only had three clean hits – Badlapur (Budget: 25 Crores INR, Business: 52 Crores INR), Dum Laga Ke Haisha (Budget: 15 Crores INR, Business: 30 Crores INR) and NH10 (Budget: 13 Crores INR, Business: 32 Crores INR). Badlapur and NH10 found limited appreciation among the multiplex audience and still managed to yield profits largely because of their sensible budgets. Contrast it with Bombay Velvet which is struggling to touch 25 Crores lifetime business and was made at a humungous budget of over 100 Crores INR! This period also saw the release of two films of Akshay Kumar, a huge star across India, but both of them – Baby and Gabbar Is Back – could only be best described as semi-hits with lifetime collections in the 80-90 Crore INR range. Needless to say, a little discipline from the producers, in terms of budgeting, could have easily sailed these two films into the ‘Hit’ category.

2. Content is (Still) the King:

Dum Laga Ke Haisha probably had the best word of mouth of the year before Piku and TWMR hit the screens. A good word of mouth for these films ensured that even though these films didn’t open to record-breaking collections on day one, but eventually gathered steam and came into their own on their first Mondays. While TWMR pulled off a stunner by not dropping at all on its first Monday, Piku and Dum Laga Ke Haisha witnessed a miniscule 30% drop in collections compared to Friday. Piku showed how a topic as drab as motion could be the key subject of a motion picture! If your content is genuine, out-of-the-box and most importantly, as per the understanding and likes of the audience, you are very much in the game. So, grand scale, lavish sets, star power and a ‘Hollywood-ish’ look and feel would lead you nowhere! It’s no coincidence that Piku (story of a Bengali family living in CR Park), Dum Laga Ke Haisa (set in Haridwar) and TWMR (set in Haryana/Delhi/Kanpur) are all earthy and genuinely ‘Indian’ stories. Point to note for screenwriters out there.

3. Girl Power on the Rise: 

Anushka Sharma debuted as a Producer with NH10 and the film went on to become a solid hit at the box office despite an off-beat theme, no prominent male lead and an ‘A’ certificate. Ditto for Piku, which was brilliantly marketed as a Deepika Padukone film. The initial marketing of Piku was solely driven by Deepika, given the limitations of brand Bachchan and Irrfan Khan’s niche face value. Similarly, Tanu Weds Manu Returns was marketed as an out and out Kangana Ranaut film who is at a Vidya Balan-like high post the success of Queen. Kangana’s star pull can be gauged from the opening day collections of TWMR which are better than two Akshay Kumar films that have released this year.

4. Khans Still Rule:

You may not exactly like the kind of films they do each year, but all the three Khans still rule the roost at the Box Office. In fact, only Shah Rukh, Aamir and Salman can ‘guarantee’ a box-office success in truest sense of the word. If first half of 2015 was very disappointing for the industry, it was mainly because there was no Khan film in the offing. Akshay Kumar is still a big star but only ‘certain’ types of his films go on to become huge box-office grossers. Hrithik Roshan is another huge star but his frequency of releases has been very low. Ranbir Kapoor, considered to be the youngest superstar, perhaps needs to think over the choice of his films as his last three releases have bombed at the box office.

All these key pointers make TWMR and Piku significant box office successes of 2015. Just when we thought that the first half of the year will mostly go dull and dry, and the box office will have to wait for something like a ‘Bajrangi Bhaijaan’ to light up the proceedings, then came the much-needed respite in form of these twin hits. These films have not just set the cash registers ringing but have also reaffirmed the audiences’ and the makers’ faith in this old adage – quality content will eventually find its place in the heart of the audience. And these two films have also sent out terse and clear reminders to those who believe that mediocre work mounted on grand scale and starring a popular actor will yield them dividends. Let this get it straight – only the Khans can sell off ‘anything’ to the audience right now. Nobody else.

Tanu Weds Manu Returns Review: You Will Like the Film, Not Tanu & Manu Themselves

Tanu Weds Manu, Anand L Rai’s much-liked rom-com that released in 2011, managed to break quite a few, if not all, shackles when it comes to predictable love stories. But, Tanu, the feisty, unconventional protagonist of the 2011 film is somewhat underwhelming and repressed in this sequel. Equally cut to size, barring a few kilos that he seems to have gained, is Manu (played by R Madhavan), the inconspicuous and ‘boring’ hero. The task of seeing through this rather ‘forced’ sequel is assigned to Kangana’s double avatar, Kusum aka ‘Datto’, the Haryanvi athlete studying at Delhi University who happens to be Tanu’s doppelganger.

Tanu Weds Manu Returns flatters to deceive since beginning. Starting four years after the marriage of the unlikely couple Tanu and Manu, the film initially ignites hopes of looking into the subject of post-marital discord with doses of earthy humor. When Tanu leaves behind Manu in a mental asylum in London and comes back to her den in Kanpur, you shift a little in your seat quietly telling yourself – okay, let the madness begin. However, right after the first half an hour and well till the end of the film, Tanu Weds Manu Returns makes you question the logic, the rationale of the supposed dissonance between the lead couple and their means to overcome it. So, it is rather unfathomable when Tanu who returns to Kanpur with same swagger and rowdy spirit that had made her stand out, miraculously melts down towards the end and almost surrenders herself in order to get back in Manu’s life. So much for her free spirit, unconventional ways, in-your-face attitude and walking in slow motion to Move on, Move On? Was the sequel made to somewhat tame or to show Tanu her true place?

On the other side of the spectrum is Manu’s character, which becomes worryingly unidimensional, his motives become disturbingly unclear and there are stages in the film when you almost want to take decisions on his behalf – because, you know he is screwing it up big time! Manu’s character in this film, unlike in the prequel, is shockingly underwritten and his chemistry with both Tanu and Kusum is left rather untapped.

But, all is not unwell with Tanu Weds Manu Returns. All through the film’s 2-hour runtime, you are treated with some fine, humorous writing courtesy of Himanshu Sharma, who also wrote Rai’s previous films - Tanu Weds Manu and Raanjhanaa. That the writer has a penchant for earthy humor and whistle-worthy/crowd-pleasing one-liners was very much on display in Raanjhana, where he almost managed to make stalking acceptable with his superior writing. Here as well, you have glimpses of his talent, mostly displayed via hilarious lines delivered by a brilliant Deepak Dobriyal who reprises his role of Manu’s confidant and best friend, Pappi.

Another actor who gets the share of some fine writing is Mohammad Zeeshan Ayub as Chintu, a character that defines himself as ‘kandha’ or shoulder to Tanu whose heart’s been freshly broken. Chintu’s character is not just funny but is also very well-defined in terms of small town sensibilities and mannerisms. But, the biggest show stealer is Kangana Ranaut’s portrayal of a young Haryanvi athlete with short hair and slightly bulging teeth (hence, the nickname ‘Datto’). She is so believable and lovely as Datto that you almost root for her towards the climax despite knowing in your heart that the film is going to travel the predictable path. The way Kangana pulls of thick Haryanvi accent, body language and mannerisms of a young student cum athlete is truly remarkable. The film never caricaturizes her character or the overall Haryanvi connection, except for a brief sequence where you are preached about female empowerment and how everyone should let the women have some freedom of choice! Fake feminism, eh?

Interestingly, while Kangana pulls off the double role superbly, it’s her original character of Tanu that somehow gets overshadowed in the process. The blame for the same mostly lies at the writer’s door who has not done justice to Tanu’s part except for some repetitive insinuations towards her being flirtatious, strong-headed and sometime almost cynical. R Madhavan, the greatest representative of common Indian lover – the one who is a little plump, ages ‘normally’, wears glasses, has a boring job, but is a sweetheart from inside – is suitably restrained, understated yet charming as Manu but is undone by the monotony of his character. That Madhavan is a brilliant actor is showcased on more than one occasions where the actor steals a scene or two without speaking a single word. His shy looks, roving eyes, conceived emotions, believable behavior are all at display but that solid meat at the center is missing.

The film’s soundtrack is not as memorable as its prequel’s, except for the ‘Swagger’ song that’s clearly the USP. The background score and cinematography are well-oiled to capture the small town milieu. Ditto for editing, which is crisp and smart, ensuring that you never real check your watch!

Tanu Weds Manu Returns would have been a brilliant standalone film but is a little underwhelming as a sequel. You may end up liking the film but you somehow do not empathize with or root for its principal characters – Tanu and Manu – which is quite strange. In fact, all your sympathies are directed towards Kusum, who ends up being a sacrificial lamb in what is nothing more than frivolous and undefined post marital discord between Tanu & Manu. Add to this, the several untied knots in this supposed love triangle. For instance - while you can understand Manu being drawn towards Kusum as she heavily resembles his wife, you somewhat keep asking yourself this question about Kusum eventually reciprocating Manu’s feeling– why would a young college athlete fall for a 40-yeard old, almost-fat, divorced man who initially stalked her liked a goon?

All in all, points to the makers for trying because rarely does Bollywood go beyond the standard template of ‘happily ever after’. Tanu Weds Manu Returns is that rare mainstream Hindi film that tries to dispel the myth of 'all is well that ends well’ but eventually falls prey to the same predictable temptation of setting everything right at the end. The film is brave, ridiculous, funny, empowering, and powerless - all at the same time. Like how love is.

Watch it because Kangana Ranaut is in form, there are some genuine laughs and madness. You will most likely come out of the theatre with a smile on your face but you will realize that the charm of the original Tanu and Manu has eroded. May be that’s what happens when you are married off for four years.

Rating: *** (Good)

Movie Review: Gabbar Is Back, But You Will Not Care

They shouldn't have evoked Gabbar's name in the film. Gabbar, perhaps the most iconic villain in the history of Hindi Cinema, has nothing to do with this 2-hour, 10-minutes long humbug of a film that dangerously tries to blend formulaic action-masala with the tricky genre of vigilante justice. The film lacks conviction itself and fails to convince you because of its dangerous positioning where kidnapping, killing by hanging are glorified as legitimate means of rooting out corruption and serving 'justice'.

Akshay Kumar is a college professor who doubles up as a corruption crusader when he is not teaching. He christens himself as 'Gabbar', for reasons best known to him, and keeps reminding us that he is 'naam se villain, kaam se hero'! Eh! While vigilante justice films can be absolute revelations if they are beaming with purpose and sparkling with novelty (remember, A Wednesday and Akshay's own Special 26?), Gabbar Is Back is extremely preachy and devoid of any originality. I am not even trying to explain to you that this film is a remake of a Tamil film's Telugu remake. Did you get that?

To its credit, Gabbar Is Back maintains a good pace throughout and is backed by a hero who is punching hard at all the right places. In fact, the film's first half breezes through rather easily even though there is no moment of glory. The problem, or rather say potholes in the screenplay, arise in the second half when Gabbar's tragic back life comes into the fray. So, Mr. Director, is Gabbar a social reformer with PWD (Power Wala Danda!) or simply a disgruntled, frustrated man who is out there to avenge the death of his wife (guest appearance by Kareena Kapoor in a curious pink nose) and unborn child? From this point onwards, Gabbar Is Back falls flat as motive becomes hazy, modus operandi questionable and logic anyways was always sitting pretty out of the window. How does Gabbar shortlist the 'corrupt' ones from thousands of officers? Who verifies if the corruption charges are legitimate at first place? There are plethora of unanswered questions that you will perhaps not even bother to ask by the time the tedious second half assumes its predictable proportions. Even the investigating officers, featuring Jaideep Ahlawat as a CBI officer and Sunil Grover as a constable who is overzealous and uselessly curious, seem quite disinterested in tracing Gabbar and most of the time end up bickering among themselves or eating Samosas.

Gabbar Is Back has some funny one-liners that will make you chuckle and a few 90s style dialogues for the front row audience. Then, there is also Sunil Grover and Jaideep Ahlawat twisting their tongues while speaking in English. No disrespect meant, but these two actors look rather out of place while delivering their dialogues in English. And hello, why did they need to speak in horrible-sounding English? To show that they are more competent and honest than their peer police officers? Blah.

The film also has Shruti Haasan as a desperate-to-act-cute, decorative piece. Akin to what's reserved for actresses in films of this genre, Haasan's importance in the film's narrative is negligible and Gabbar's supposed romantic interest in her makes you wonder - wait, is this guy avenging his wife's death? Hmm.

The film's music is strictly okay. Special effects are tacky (the buildings collapse like a pack of cards, like how it used to be in good old Doordarshan serials). Screenplay and direction is messy to the say the least. Akshay Kumar is his usual confident and effective self. But, he is undone by a unremarkable script and screenplay that never challenge him to do what he has not done before.

Gabbar Is Back tries hard to blend and hard sell Bhagat Singh and Arvind Kejriwal schools of thought, but ends up being mostly stupid. Watch it only if you wish to save your electricity bill and enjoy a theater's air-conditioning in this sweltering heat, or you have a 'thing' for anything and everything anti-corruption.

Rating: ** (Average)