Out of the Blue: Khan-tastic!

Nov 2, 2011

Khan-tastic!

I was trying to sleep for some time. There was this sense of expectancy, a profound air of optimism surrounding me. I curled myself up in the blanket and gazed at the wall facing me. The moonlight filtering through the window added that extra zing to the entire setup.

She was not my kinds to be honest. Actually, no girl is my kinds. I am unique (Peculiar!). But still she was the magnet and I was a hardcore Iron. Her company made me smile. I could sit for years in front of her and do nothing. My friends termed me loser. (Rightly so)

But He never lost faith in my abilities. He always looked smiling at me from that uppermost corner of the wall. He has always been like that, friend of friends, a true companion, a remarkable confidant. I could rely on Him, He was my friend, philosopher, guide, and elder brother. His smile was infectious, He emitted extremely positive vibes, he symbolized life (King Size).

I went up to the mirror, stretched my arms horizontally, and tilted the upper half of my body to right. A current ran across my spine. I could feel the energy that divine posture generated. My heart pounded like freshly boiled Rajma.

Love was never my cup of tea, but he always gave me that ammo to move ahead. He is no Casanova, He is just hopelessly romantic. He does not have great looks, but has the charm to woe any girl on planet. He is one of us, real yet special. Simple yet magnificent.

I knew, she would be restless too. Perhaps not trying out postures at this hour of the night, but anxious nevertheless.

(Kahin Aag Lagne Se Pehle, Uthta Hai Aisa Dhuaan....Jaisa Hai Idhar Ka Nazaara, Vaisa Hi Udhar Ka Samaa)

I was dying to let her know what I felt for her. But I could not muster up enough courage. I was pathetic at expressing emotions, an awful orator. So unlike Him, He is a man with wise words. When He speaks, we listen and smile and listen. He has profound opinion on everything from cinema to religion to politics to cricket. His oratory skills are spell binding and effortless, far better than those of his ‘surname sakes’. He is not a mere actor, He is a true SuperStar (Others are just His distant poor cousins) and an unparalleled entertainer.

At that moment, my phone rang, “She is leaving for US, tonight. May be forever. You are doomed asshole :P”

My adrenaline was pumping. I was scared, I knew would never fall in love again. She can't go like that, You can't let her go, I can't let You go. Climax scenes of His several "works of art" started to flash in front of my eyes.

(Saanson Mein Badi Bekaraari, Aankhon Mein Kai Rat Jage....Kahin Kabhi Lag Jaaye Dil To, Kahin Phir Dil Na Lage)...

I looked at the mirror again. Reflection of a sentence was very easy for me to make out. Repair almost anything. Broken heart? I wondered.

I was at the Indira Gandhi International Airport, desperately searching for that US bound flight on the display board. Finally I could locate it, the flight to New York. As I tried to make my way through the hustle-bustle of the waiting area, I wondered how would I get in! After all, not many break into an airport with a night suit on. It was nearly midnight but the buzz at the airport did not seem to die down. I could notice other faces, waiting expectantly for their near and dear ones.

That buzz at the airport suddenly burst into a roar. I looked back to find if there was a bomb scare. I could only see people and more people, anxious & happy. A figure emerged from between the crowd, dressed in an impeccable black suit. His persona was towering despite a modest height. He looked like a playboy and a monk simultaneously, blowing kisses to his fans and doing a courteous adaab. Before I could realize, He stood at a touching distance from me.

Shah Rukh Khan, 45, India's best domestic entertainment product and finest export, was standing in front of me. Several thoughts rushed through my mind, one moment I wanted to jump in the air, the other I wanted to flee the airport and never look back. I felt like hugging him, touching him to ensure that its him! It was one of the those moments which I wanted to either freeze forever or completely erase from my life. I was not just happy, I was scared too. I was not prepared to meet my idol this way.

" Please, close your mouth." Dude, I am talking to you". Shah Rukh Khan tried to bring me back to my senses. " Holy shit, It's you. Oh my God!" . I barked when the significance of the moment sinked in. " Hey, please don't call me shit! I am Khan. Pleased to meet you." SRK replied in his typical tongue-in-cheek style, his baritone was killing me.
I extended my hand which he held with both of his. That handshake was incredible to say the least, the warmth touched my soul. Quite stupidly, the story of Taj Mahal, Shah Jahan and the handless workers surfaced in my mind. I was going insane.

" I mean how, why, when..I mean how did you notice me? I mean why are you here with me?" I somehow managed to put across my point. " You are special my friend. Noticed you the moment I entered this area. After all not many come to the airport in chaddi and baniyaan. " He said and smiled at his own joke. It was a bad one considering the reputation his witty one-liners have. " I am wearing a night suit."" Oh! I was just kidding. You are here to receive someone? I hope you are not planning to board the plane like this."

The crowd now started to notice the special attention I was getting from the King. All eyes were set at me or rather us, I also noticed a few bright flashes around me. Couple of larger than life Bodyguards stood behind him. One of them gave me nasty look.

" Errr..Not really. I am here to stop someone. I mean I am here to stop her from boarding the flight" I said. "Stop Her! That sounds cool. Love bug, yeah!" SRK Said enthusiastically. " Yeah, I love her a lot but she does not know that. And she is going to US tonight." I said. " Oh! That's straight out of my movie. You copied me bro!" SRK winked. " Go get her. Stop her now. I gotta go. Bytheway, what's her name? " He started to move away.

"Her name is..There she is!" I shouted like a maniac and pointed in front. SRK sprung 360 degrees to notice a beautiful girl whose eyes were about to pop out any moment. "Shahrukkhhhhhh!" She shouted and flung herself straight in the actor's arms, evading all the security band-o-bust. She fainted.

" Ohhoo.She is beautiful dude!" SRK said holding her in his arms. "I hope you are not jealous" Now, my mind was racing, I could sense something was about to happen. "Please get some water", SRK ordered his attendants." Wait. Wait. Dont wake her up. I shouted. " what, but why, I got to go dude? " No, no. Tell me how do I do it? How do I tell her that I love her." I said excitedly.

"Please tell me. which of your dialogues should I use...70 minute..oh shit that's hockey..., some song? Please." I continued blabbering. " Hey hey, buddy relax! She is all yours. Don't impress her by my dialogues. Let her know the real you. I just enact the characters that are woven for me. You write your own script here. I am sure if your love is true and if she likes truthful men, you would be on." He said with a remarkable calmness and poise in his voice.

"And now you got to hold her because I am seriously late. and dude, don't act, just be yourself." the great actor poured those wise words upon me. He held my hand and put it over her hand. She was awake now, her eyes still trying to pop out. For one moment, three pair of hands were magnificently bonded, staging a perfect commercial for any Life Insurance company.

He withdrew his hands slowly and patted at my back. " All the best". His smile was never sexier than this. He quickly started to move away from me, the crowd obstructed my vision further.

"Dude, at least tell me your name? I told you I am Khan." He shouted from some distance away from me. " And gorgeous, why are you holding him so tightly. No PDA here!." I realized that she was hugging me very tightly and her eyes were still trying to remain in the socket.

" Thank you. I am ....." I started shouting only to find my voice choked. I was jumping with tears in my eyes, he waved back at me and pointed towards his ears. He could not get my name. A final thumbs up and he was gone.

*************************

"That's a Khan-tastic Love story dad". my 5 year old son was thrilled. "It is, champ." But, why did mommy faint?" he started with his grenade of whys and whats. " If you don't sleep now, I like make you faint." Her mom said with slight irritation in her voice. " Mommy is bad!" "Dad, did you get Ra.1 DVD for me?" He continued. "Good night, champ."

P.S.- My son is a huge SRK fan and I love narrating stories to him.