Shaandaar Movie Review: Shahid and Alia Shine, the Film Doesn’t

Shaandaar has many things going right for it. Right from the word go. It is touted to be India’s first destination wedding film, the sets and the canvas look splendid, the songs are quirky and peppy, and most importantly, the film has a refreshing pairing of Shahid Kapoor and Alia Bhatt.

But, sadly despite the aforementioned strengths and pluses, the film’s director, Vikas Bahl, flounders and fumbles several times before the extravagant destination wedding reaches its final destination. Vikas, an able director when it comes to simpler stories and smaller budgets, seems to be binging a bit too much on the producers’ generosity this time around. The covert messaging of the film remains fairly simple and straightforward, like how it was in Vikas’ last directorial venture – the much-appreciated Queen, but the means to the ‘final destination’ seems too convoluted and pointlessly blingy. The director seems to have developed an unexplainable fascination with comic books, fairy tales and animations, and he literally puts all of that in a single film. And the end result is not exactly what he hoped it to be when he chose the title of the film.

Shaandaar tells the story of a once-superrich-now-bankrupt, but forever dysfunctional Indian business family and the lavish wedding it plans for its slightly obese daughter Isha (debutante Sanah Kapoor) in London. Isha’s father (Played by Pankaj Kapur) hires a wedding planner with a curious name – Joginder Jagjinder (Shahid Kapoor) who falls for Isha’s sister Alia (Alia Bhatt). The two hit it off instantly and bond over late night escapades as both of them, we are told, suffer from insomnia. Also in the fray is the groom’s family which has a weird obsession with anything gold – this wolf pack is led by the groom’s elder brother (Sanjay Kapoor). What follows next is a muddled mix of rom-com between Alia and Shahid with Pankaj Kapur playing a protective father with perfection, and a Queen-style sermon via Sanah Kapoor on how it is not a girl’s fault if she is fat.

To be fair, Shaandaar’s first half is fairly enjoyable when you just begin to somewhat like the peculiar characters that the film has to offer. But the director’s grip over the film drops a fair bit in the second half as soon as the screenplay (Anvita Dutt Guptan) starts to meander in a dreamland. A dreamland where there are too many VFXs, cloudy flashbacks and Disney-style animated storytelling.

But, all is not unwell with Shaandaar. Alia Bhatt and Shahid Kapoor share a sparkling chemistry and it will not be an exaggeration to call it the most refreshing pairing to have hit the Hindi films in the last few years. Shahid Kapoor looks dapper and seems to have gotten back his boyish, exuberant charm. Apart from being an eye candy (all females in the film, Alia’s grandmother (Sushma Seth) included, drool over our Kapoor boy), Shahid is also amply funny and suitably restrained throughout the film. Alia Bhatt is her usual sweetened self with a sprinkle of genuineness and beauty. Pankaj Kapur too is on fire, displaying his unique brand of dry, subtle humor. In fact, Kapur/Kapoor father and son share a terrific vibe on-screen and along with Alia, remain the brightest spots of Shaandaar. The trio gives us some genuinely heartwarming and funny moments and you wish they never ceded space to other actors in the film.

Every time a protective Pankaj Kapur and a charming Shahid Kapoor squabble over Alia, you will see a smiley curve emerging on your face. Special mention should be made of a small sequence featuring a little banter over the number ‘36’ – it is a fine display of the trio’s effortless sense of humor and the comfort they share with one another.

Sanah Kapoor also makes a confident debut and shows no nerves in her portrayal of a fatter sibling of the film’s leading lady. Her fine acting talent is letdown by a poorly developed character that struggles to remain relevant throughout the film. Other members of the support cast are almost all too loud and unreal with Sanjay Kapoor easily taking the top prize and ending up looking like Anil Kapoor’s poor comical caricature.

Shaandaar’s production values are quite rich but the intermittent animation seems more distracting and self-indulging than essential. There are also some poor attempts made at invoking dark humor but it simply doesn’t fit well in the lavish backdrop of the film. The film’s soundtrack is pretty solid, courtesy Amit Trivedi, and the songs have also been creatively picturized, especially ‘Gulabo’, which is a visual treat.

Overall, Shaandar is a film full of all the right ingredients but somehow the final serving is not tempting enough. The second half of the film is simply boring at places with the screenplay offering no big challenges to its principle characters. Even that Karan Johar guest appearance fails to register itself as a key moment in the film. It is another matter that after Karan’s cameo is long done and gone, you end up wondering if he would have done a better job in directing this film. After all, big budget and big cast is not everyone’s saddle to handle.

At best, Shaandaar is a lost opportunity. It finds itself suspended between the director’s dream world and the producers’ love for opulent, ‘big and fat’ Indian weddings. Alia Bhatt and Shahid Kapoor almost carry the film through on the strength of their chemistry but they are regularly pulled down by a motley of directorial distractions.

Watch it if you can digest a soup of Karan Johar and Phantom (Anurag Kashyap) styles of filmmaking!

Rating: **1/2 (2.5 out of 5 – Average)

Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 Movie Review: Old Template That Still Works Fine

The biggest irony of Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 and its 2011 hit prequel is that it is directed by a man called ‘Luv’ Ranjan. Irony because this man called Luv hits love and its affiliated emotions exactly where it hurts and unabashedly blames the fairer sex for most of the modern day relationship issues. While you may disagree with the notions propagated by him, or even worse, you may call him blatantly misogynistic, utterly frustrated and dismiss him completely if you suffer from bouts of feminism, but you cannot take away the director’s legitimate right to make his point. A point that he so strongly believes in and goes about emphasizing it in a very eloquent, humorous and mostly harmless manner that in most cases, it should not (and does not) offend anyone (from either sexes).

I will not mince words in warning you beforehand that Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 is not for you if you are a devout feminist, a bit too sensitive kinds or devoid of even a gentle dollop of humor. You might consider dropping reading this review right here right now or even if you want to continue to read (in case you are massively impressed by my writing), you should definitely not think of watching the film. Pyar Ka Punchnama 2 is shameless and remorseless in its female condemnation. Be warned!

Using the same old template of its much-appreciated prequel, Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 is about three carefree boys (Kartik Aaryan as Anshul/Gogo, Sunny Singh as Sidharth/Chauka and Omkar Kapoor as Thakur) who share a stunningly luxurious flat, party most of the times and yet never get broke. Enter three petite young women (Nushrat Bharucha as Ruchika/Chiku, Sonalli Sehgall as Supriya and Ishita Raj as Kusum) to turn our boys’ blessed lives upside down. The three couples hit it off initially but problems peep in as soon as the girls’ start to ‘take control’ and ‘domesticate’ our boys. Lusty and romantic background music quickly makes way for Mika Singh’s Ban Gaya Kutta and puppy noises, and you know the real fun has just begun. What follows is a series of comical relationship situations that many of urban, metro-dwelling couples would identify with.

If Pyaar Ka Punchnama was about boys whining over how girls frustrate them with their silly tantrums, unreal expectations and virtual exploitation, Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 goes a step further and seems to be indulging in genuine finger pointing. It pits all the blame of relationship misery on females and in fact smartly picks up three most common issues – money, marriage and mistrust, to drive home its highly opinionated and somewhat prejudiced points.

Like its predecessor, this film also features an 8-minute long ‘monologue of frustration’ by Kartik Aaryan – an improvement of at least 5 minutes from the previous film. Kartik begins his monologue with ‘problem yeh hai ki wo ladki hai’ and you know where it will go. The relentless rant is both a rabble rouser as well as an absolute uproar at places. You find yourself giggling, nodding in agreement (at times) and letting out a haww in disbelief as well. The monologue, which has been fittingly picturized at a signage in the backdrop that reads ‘dead end’, concludes with Kartik arriving at the conclusion that perhaps it’s better for man to marry his hand rather than a woman. Ouch. Get it?

Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 also ups the ante in the oomph department with generous dosage of kissing, bikini and unbuttoning scenes. The film also gets the lingo spot on with ch**iya becoming a synonym for a man in love andch***yapa becoming an expression for every suffering that a man has to undergo because of his bae. Courtesy oursanskaari censor board, there are several beeps in the film but it is no rocket science to figure out what the actors are mouthing. The good part about the film’s dialogues and its overall lingo is that it never seems made up or pretentious and comes across as what it aspires to be – youth-centric and day-to-day. But, overall if you compare Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 with its prequel, the former clearly seems to have an edge – largely because its novelty and originality.

The three male actors in the film are in top form with each of them both living every man’s dream and also venting out every man’s grumbles. Kartik Aaryan, the undisputed veteran of the three when it comes to doing a post-mortem of love, is hilarious in some of the scenes with the frustrated monologue easily topping the charts. Sunny Singh as the affable Sardar is the surprise pack with its innocent looks, charming personality and cheeky sense of humor. His plight seems to be most genuine of the three lads and you feel for the guy most of the times – a true victim of ‘aurat ka atyachaar’ in every sense. Omkar Kapoor as Thakur carries the intense look well and manages to hold his own amongst the three boys. He acts confidently and brings a certain calmness to the madness of Kartik and Sunny.

The leading ladies too pull of their jobs admirably with Nushrat Bharucha coming out with flying colors in her bimbette act. Nushrat steals the show in a sequence where three boys and herself are watching a India Vs Pakistan cricket match. Her dumbness in this sequences, where she innocently confirms with her boyfriend that whether Sachin Tendulkar has actually retired, is so spectacular that you want to roll on the floor laughing. Sonalli Sehgall and Ishita Raj also fit in their roles perfectly, balancing glamour with meanness/dumbness with relative ease.

But, everything is not hunky dory with Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2. Its jokes do look repetitive at times, especially in the second half and the music fails to inspire. The film is also brazen at times while making fun of women and although it never becomes insulting, it definitely goes on to become heavily lopsided on occasions. The screenplay is also dodgy at places with the situations becoming way too predictable and the rants becoming way too obvious.

But, overall Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 is mostly entertaining and consistently enjoyable. It is blatant, bold and buoyant with the sentiments of male victimhood and female bashing. It’s light, comical look and feel makes matters tolerable or else we would have had women protesting on the streets demanding a ban (pun intended).

Watch it if you subscribe to the ideals of ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’!

Rating: *** (3 out of 5 – Good)

Jazbaa Movie Review: More Filtered than Instagram, Photoshop and Your Cup of Coffee Combined

First things first. I don’t know why they have called the film ‘Jazbaa’. ‘Jazbaa’ roughly translates to ‘passion’ in English and I am not sure how the theme of passion fits the bill to be this film’s title. Are the makers hinting at the passion of a mother to save her child or is it about the passion to fight against a social evil like sexual harassment? Whatever be might the intent, it does not come out well at the end of the film. The only aspect of the film that showcases true passion is Sanjay Gupta’s weird obsession with green filters that makes at least half of the film look like a series of poorly-edited Instagram posts. More on that later.

Let’s start with the positives. First, it’s a relief when we are told that Jazbaa is an official remake of a Korean hit film called Seven Days. This acknowledgment and ‘generosity’ is huge coming from a director who has been in the past guilty of blatant plagiarism, even for a handful of accomplished films that he has directed (Kaante, Musafir and Zinda). Second, Jazbaa is, in all fairness, a neatly executed and a well-crafted thriller for most of its 2-hour long runtime. The film is set on a riveting premise with ample scope of thrill and all the frills attached with it.

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan plays Anuradha Verma, a legal eagle and a single mother to her daughter Sanaya. The top lawyer, who has never lost a single case and is seemingly not averse to even defend the guilty as long as she is winning, is forced into defending a rapist-murderer after her daughter Sanaya is abducted. Helping her out in getting to the root of the case and finding her abducted daughter is Inspector Yohaan (Irrfan Khan), a decorated but now suspended cop who also has feelings for Anuradha. Also in the fray is the murder/rape victim’s mother (Shabana Azmi) who is aghast at the idea of a woman lawyer defending a rape accused in the court.

Jazbaa is clearly designed to be a grand comeback vehicle for Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and there’s nothing wrong in it. There are ample slow motion shots, lots of solo scenes, close-ups and the mandatory screeching and wailing that has become the hallmark of ‘heroine-oriented’ films in Bollywood. In fact, the film starts with a visibly fit and undoubtedly gorgeous Aishwarya jogging and exercising on Mumbai seaside with a non-descript song playing in the background. Yes, we get it Sanjay Gupta sahib, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is back, back both in shape and reckoning.

Aishwarya is mostly convincing and powerful as a tough lawyer and a doting mother. She does try a bit too hard in some of the scenes, especially in those where it seems the director asked her to screech and forgot to say cut, but overall it’s a fine performance that the former Miss World delivers with appreciable poise and tenacity.

Jazbaa’s biggest letdown is the poor Irrfan Khan (yes, you read it right) who wowed us in the role of CBI officer in Talvar just a week back. Irrfan is let down by a poorly conceptualized and heavily caricaturized character that relegates him to be an insignificant sidekick to Aishwarya. He gets to deliver some corny dialogues, wear some tacky jackets and misfit sunglasses, in what seems to be Sanjay Gupta’s tribute to the stereotypical cop of Bollywood. His romantic interest in Aishwarya is never fully justified and his attempt to act like a ‘cool’ cop who does ‘cool’ things does not cut an ice with the audience. Perhaps, we are just used to see the real Irrfan Khan all the time. This one is too fake and wannabe to be true.

Similarly, it pains to see Shabana Azmi trying to be all melodramatic and ‘act’ like a mother who is aggrieved by the demise of her daughter. Her conversations with Aishwarya are frivolous and non-serious at times, making you wonder what was the idea of putting those sequences in the film.

Jazbaa has a couple of unexpected and well-disguised twists in the narrative which will make you sit up in your seat and take notice. The film is also well-paced and sharply edited at 2 hours and 2 minutes. However, the director seems to be divulging into too many territories at several points in time. As a result, Jazbaa is neither a compelling courtroom drama, nor a candid commentary on the issue of sexual harassment or even a flawless thriller for that matter. Repeated enactments of the rape scene seems more titillating than heart-wrenching and you can’t help but question the director’s honesty as he delves into a matter as serious as rape. Equally questionable is the eventual finale that seems to have been enacted keeping in mind the current fad for feminism.

Similarly, the courtroom sequences are not compelling and fiery enough with the talented Atul Kulkarni, who plays public prosecutor arguing his case against Aishwarya, hardly getting any substantial arguments to put forward. All the supposedly ‘good dialogues’, most of which is nothing but 90s style cringe fest, are saved for Irrfan who looks woefully out of place.

But all of the above flaws do not put down Jazbaa as much as those ridiculous filters that Sanjay Gupta is obsessed with. Mumbai skyline has a strange hue of green all the time,  the roads are always damp and the sky always overcast with clouds that look as fake as a wig would on Anupam Kher’s head. Complementing this Instagram-style filtering is a video game-like background music which is so loud and buoyant at places that it hurts your ears.

Overall, Jazbaa could have easily passed off as an average thriller with some interesting twists in between, but it is letdown by the director’s penchant for melodrama and obsession with green filters. It also seems non-serious on serious issues and does the cardinal mistake of miscasting Irrfan Khan in a role that simply does not suit him.

Watch it only if you have waited for Aishwarya to come back all these years!

Rating: ** (2 out of 5 – Average)

Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon Review: Kapil Sharma Makes a Safe and Somewhat Impressive Debut

Whether you laugh at his jokes or not, or whether you acknowledge his meteoric rise through the ranks or not, the fact is that TV’s funnyman Kapil Sharma has gone on to become one of the most followed/admired entertainers in the last 2 years or so. Therefore, when the man who gave us the iconic “Babaji Ka Thullu” goes on to make his Bollywood debut, you are both skeptical and excited. Is it prudent of Kapil to keep his kingship of TV aside and try to make it big in the big, bad Bollywood? Does Bollywood of today have space for a comedian-hero or did that craft die as soon as Govinda started to age?

May be it’s difficult to straightaway find answers to the questions raised above, but it is quite safe and sound to declare a fact right at the beginning – Kapil Sharma has chosen a very smart and safe vehicle of launch in Bollywood and believe it or not, he does a pretty neat job of the challenge thrown at him. The 34-year old comedian with conventional, common man looks carries Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon well on his shoulders and displays some obvious signs of possessing real acting chops. The fact that the film is helmed by the seasoned duo of Abbas Mustan is a big plus as the directors manage to build a decent product using an old, dated formula; something which might have proven detrimental if not handled with precision.

Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon’s plot is a throwback to the 90s when Govinda kind of made polygamy cool with the 1996 David Dhawan Super-Hit Saajan Chale Sasural. Kapil Sharma plays Shiv Ram Kishan who ends up marrying thrice (with three different women – Manjari Phadnis, Amrita Puri and Simran Kaur Mundi) due to a series of outlandish and bizarre ‘accidents’. Not just that, he also has a smoldering girlfriend in form a beautiful Elli Avaram who obviously does not know that her boyfriend is already married to three women. Helping him deal with this tetra trouble in life is his friend cum lawyer Varun Sharma. Did you spot the similarities and differences between Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon and Saajan Chale Sasural yet? The ultimate alpha male Govinda romanced two women (Tabu and Karisma Kapoor) while our Kapil goes two steps further and has 4 ladies by his sides, front and back. Wah!

Let’s get it clear that Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon is a low-brow comedy but is not exactly ‘mindless’. The film knows what it is and never really tries to be something that it cannot be. There are no sermons or judgements passed on merits/demerits of polygamy, there are no outright insulting jokes, either on wives/women or on the audiences for that matter. Abbas Mustan do a good job of working within themselves and Kapil Sharma manages to underplay himself beautifully at times.

In fact, apart from his trademark quirky humor, Kapil Sharma surprises us in typical Bollywood emotional scenes and comes out triumphant when the camera goes up, close and personal with his face. Special mention should be made of a ‘drinking scene’ right before the interval, where the two Sharmas, Kapil and Varun, are bonding over a few drinks and former is sharing the woes of his ultra-blessed marital life. Kapil makes full use of the drunken opportunity and shows some definite acting sparks.

Ably supporting and sometimes outclassing Kapil, is Varun ‘Choocha’ Sharma. The Fukrey lad displays impeccable comic timing and you will find yourself laughing out loud on several occasions when the talented actor is in the frame, especially when he dishes out his ‘scientific’ explanations to save his friend’s day. Also in the fray is the dependable Arbaaz Khan as a bhai of one of the Kapil’s wives. He plays a deaf don with utmost ease and looks very comfortable in the comic space, something which we have seen him doing of late. Adding further meat to an impressive support cast are Manoj Joshi, Supriya Pathak and Sharat Saxena, who ensure that the film never really goes down on the overall comic quotient. Some of the scenes in the film are uproarious, especially one in a mall and another one featuring a detailed analysis of Kapil’s underwear!

The four ladies – Manjari Phadnis, Simran Kaur Mundi, Elle Avaram and Amrita Puri put up decent performances and do not ever let the script acquire misogynistic proportions. The film’s script, although predictable, dated and formulaic, does have some novel situational comic scenes and plenty of typical Kapil-style dry, sarcastic humor. The first half is quite breezy and enjoyable, unlike the second half which gets a little stretched towards the end. The film’s climax is somewhat clichéd and unbelievable at the same time, but one cannot really complain much on its merit given the fact that the plot itself is nothing revolutionary.

Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon’s soundtrack is strictly average with a couple of songs too many to deal with. Two songs that register some space in your mind are ‘Bam’, which has the film’s leading man crooning rather impressively, and a romantic track titled ‘Samandar.

Overall, Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon is a better bet than those ‘mindless comedies’ featuring big stars or those lavish launch vehicles that star kids manage to get for themselves in a platter. It is a clean, entertaining film whose plot may be dated but the humor on offering is genuine and harmless.

Go, watch Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon, you might find yourself celebrating the success of a self-made man.

Rating: *** (3 out of 5 – Good)

Katti Batti Movie Review: The Tragic Death of Romantic Comedy

You can also read this review at Mad About Moviez.

I didn’t have much expectations from Katti Batti. The trailers looked somewhat drab, the music – a vital ingredient of any worthwhile Hindi rom-com – was uninspiring, and most annoyingly Kangana Ranaut looked like stretching her ‘Tanu spirit’ beyond the thresholds of predictability and well into the zone of annoyance.

15 minutes into watching the film, almost all of my aforementioned fears came true. One by one. Even though director Nikhil Advani, who seemed to be meandering for over 2 hours, suddenly jumped on to a tragic track towards the end trying to salvage some pride, but alas, it was well and truly late by then. I had already proclaimed ‘Katti’ with Katti Batti.

Nikhil Advani, a man who started his career with the remarkable Kal Ho Na Ho (and continues to live in the shadow of that iconic film), but has gone on to direct duds like Salaam-e-Ishq, Patiala House and most recently Hero, further prolongs his bad run through Katti Batti. The film neither manages to garner the goodwill of a typical rom-com nor does it make you pull out tissue papers through its belated tragic twist. Not just that, Katti Batti also lacks conviction, originality and a proper execution of ideas and ends up being an outright boring film.

Madhav Kabra aka Maddy (Imran Khan) is an architect who is in love with Payal (Kangana Ranaut) from the moment he saw her for the first time in college. The two do not hit it off instantly, largely thanks to Madhav’s creepy, ‘chipku’behavior, but eventually end up being in a live-in relationship for good 5 years. Things change when Payal walks out of relationship one fine day, leaving behind a whining, sobbing Maddy. The entire film revolves around Maddy’s desperate bid to get Payal back into his life while she shrugs off his advances rather heartlessly. A tiny Kal Ho Na Ho meets The Fault in Our Stars kind of twist in the end tells us that Payal does all of this knowingly; deliberately trying to push Maddy out of her life. Why? Because, she has, wait for it, cancer! Sob. Yawn. Sob. Yawn.

Katti Batti suffers from severe identity crisis. It does not know whether it is trying to be a treatise on break-ups and relationship issues, or it is trying to be a cute, little tear-jerker. Needless to say that while trying to be too many things at a time, it ends up being almost nothing. Consider these – the tongue-in-cheek humor and LOLworthy moments, of which we got a glimpse in the trailers, are as scarce in the film as rains are in Rajasthan. Call it smart trailer cutting or a bluff on the part of the makers, Katti Batti does not have humor, light-heartedness that it shamelessly promised. Also, rhe film never really builds up the romance between its lead pair – there is no breezy college dating like 2 States or a cool live-in relationship drama like Salaam Namaste. We are repeatedly told that Maddy and Payal were ‘living together for 5 years’, but we are shown no glimpses of their love, chemistry and camaraderie. As a result, it hardly bothers you when Payal leaves Maddy, or you are further disinterested when you see the later chasing the former to get things back on the track! Phew!

Similarly, the film is also not a definitive take on relationships and strings attached to it. In fact, it ends up projecting its male lead as a sheer loser who runs after the car of his ex-girlfriend like a dog and its female lead as a cruel, chaalu girl who treats men like doormats. Through the film, you feel sorry for the characters as they are poorly written and are projected in an even worse light. By the time the director tries to turn the tables by coming up with the big revelation, you are both fed up and tired by the entire sham of a rom-com that’s dished out in front of you. Maddy and Payal are simply poorly sketched out characters that fail to find any resonance with its audience.

But there are a few bright spots in Katti Batti. And surprisingly, it’s Imran Khan who is shiniest of them all. The actor, who is coming back to the silver screen after a hiatus, is affable and somewhat convincing as Madhav. He does well in the ‘crying scenes’ and you do feel for the poor guy at times, especially that dog-chasing-the-car kind of sequence. Puns and taunts aside, this character lay within the strengths of an actor like Imran Khan, and he does try hard, but is undone by a shoddy script and an even shoddier direction.

On the other hand, Kangana Ranaut replicates her Tanu act (just replace mostly Indian dresses of TWM and TWMR with some weird western outfits) through most of the film. She is predictably ‘free-spirited’, believes in ‘time-pass’ and flashes a packet of condom to a complete stranger. And not to forget, there are some trademark not-so-funny one-liners that ‘establish’ her as a ‘free woman’. But sadly, these repeated theatrics seem as fake as those feminist posts shared by thousands on Facebook every day.

Katti Batti is also let down by a below par support cast that does not have even one actor of caliber. Similarly, Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy’s music is also very average with only ‘Sau Aasoon’ getting registered in your memory. The film’s cinematography is effective while the makers could have definitely chosen a better costume designer for its lead pair.

By the time Katti Batti nears its conclusion, there are some touching scenes of Imran taking care of a cancer-afflicted Kangana, but it comes too late in the day. You feel bored, cheated and tired by then and you simply want to curse Nikhil Advani for making a mess of a film. Yet again. Stay away.

Rating: *1/2 (Poor)

P.S. – Want to know what could be your expression if you still choose to watch this film? Check out Imran Khan’s expressions in the last image of this post.

Welcome Back Review: More Painful Than a Headache, Toothache and Heartbreak Put Together

You can also read this review on Mad About Moviez.

Let me start this review by making a candid confession. I liked Anees Bazmee’s 2007 Blockbuster 'Welcome' to a great extent. The gangster duo Uday Shetty and Majnu bhai, played by a remarkable Nana Patekar and an ever-dramatic Anil Kapoor respectively, were etched in my mind for long. Add to it Akshay Kumar’s gifted sense of humor, Paresh Rawal’s impeccable comic timing and the iconic “Aloo Lelo, Kanda Lelo” sequence – Welcome had some genuinely uproarious moments. No wonder, the film was not just a huge box office success but also went on to become one of the most loved films on television that continues to garner great TRPs till date.

Eight years later, Bazmee comes with an absolute charade in the name of a sequel. There seems to be no genuine creative impetus or even an honest motive behind making Welcome Back, apart from the obvious urge for financial windfalls. Welcome Back has a plot that is so hackneyed, loop-ridden and even ridiculous at places that it makes a motley bunch of talented actors look like buffoons. Imagine yourself silently cursing Naseeruddin Shah towards the end because he and his uninspiring portrayal of ‘Wanted Bhai’ does nothing apart from stretching an already dreadfully boring film. Ditto for someone like Dimple Kapadia who does not know what she is supposed to do or the poor comeback man Shiney Ahuja who is put into a predictable and pointless role.

Poor Story, Screenplay and Direction:

The film’s story itself is a spin-off from its prequel’s plot with a couple of inexplicable son and daughter discoveries being used to repackage the old, worn-out drama. This time around Uday and Majnu bhai (Nana Patekar and Anil reprising their roles) take up the task of marrying off their yet another sister (Shruti Hassan) to a seedha and shareef man as the gangsters themselves have become good guys and settled down in Dubai. In their quest for a perfect groom, they yet again cross paths with Dr Ghungroo (Paresh Rawal) who has his own ‘son discovery’ to deal with. Ajju Bhai or Ajay (John Abraham) is Dr. Ghungroo’s step-son and a dreaded Mumbai gangster. Uday and Majnu themselves are in awe of a petite young thug (debutante Ankita Shrivastava) who along with her mother (Dimple Kapadia) pose as princess and queen of Najafgarh.

Welcome Back’s screenplay is over-complicated and overcrowded to a point that it annoys you. There are too many worthless sub-plots in the film and actors come into and go out of the frame on their will (you can’t imagine what they do with Rajpal Yadav’s character). Anees Bazmee is not an auteur in the genre of comedy but Welcome Back definitely pitches him at par with someone like Sajid Khan and his brand of intelligence-insulting humor. I am all game for lowbrow and leave-your-mind-at-home kind of comedy but a film like Welcome Back takes the audiences for granted and only tries to cash in (and eventually destroys) the existing goodwill for its prequel.

Wasted Ensemble Cast:

The biggest disservice by Anees Bazmee is probably how he assembles such fine actors and lets that advantage fritter away. Not just that, he replaces the very likeable lead pair of Akshay-Katrina from the prequel with an odd and insipid Jodi of John Abraham and Shruti Hassan. John Abraham tries to bulldoze his Shootout at Wadala act here but fails miserably. His contributions to the film end with his 10 packs, a good-looking face and a new found, weird baritone during dialogue delivery. Shruti Hassan, on the other hand, delivers such an amateurish performance that you wonder why is she in the film, or worse why is she into acting.

Ankita Shrivastava, the debutante who is there in the film to wear skimpy clothes and deliver dialogues like a 10-year old, is a bizarre choice for the role of a temptress. She tries too hard but does not achieve an iota of what Mallika Sherawat did effortlessly in Welcome. And also, the girl is way too young to be singing tacky songs with Nana and Anil who look like her granddads. Dimple Kapadia is cast in a role that gives her no scope whatsoever. Shiney Ahuja makes an entrance post interval and does a few predictable screechy scenes before falling in line with the film’s overall tediousness. Naseeruddin Shah fails to be a worthy replacement for the Late Firoz Khan and I will not mince words in saying that he is plain bad in the film. He might be a great actor otherwise but there is no harm in calling a spade a spade when there is a need.

Nana and Anil Salvage Some Pride:

Welcome Back’s only saving grace is the delectable duo of Nana Patekar and Anil Kapoor. The two veterans are in the same old form and try hard to salvage the pride despite being handicapped by poorly-written dialogues (Raj Shandaliya). Despite all the lacuna, there’s a memorable sequence in a graveyard where Nana and Anil play Antakshari with the ghosts. This one scene underscores the incredible chemistry that the two share as affable goons and makes you wonder how a good script would have allowed these two to come into their elements. It’s a shame that Anees Bazemee wastes the potential of two fine characters and two great actors by making what is easily a lesser of sequel.  Similarly, Paresh Rawal, who sparkled as Dr. Ghungroo in the previous installment, is undone by sheer lack of witty one-liners that were a trademark of his character.

Outrageous Music and Tacky VFX:

Welcome Back perhaps features the most outrageous songs that I have had the misfortune of hearing to in recent times. Songs pop out of nowhere through the film and they are resplendent with horrible lyrics (Band kamre mein 20-20 hua!), suggestive dance moves and horrendous choreography. You would want to close your eyes and ears in disgust while these songs are bombarded on you without any prior warning. Do I need to say more?

As if the entire, almost 3-hour long film was not torturous enough, Welcome Back also has an inexplicable climax featuring hordes of camels, choppers, dessert gypsies, aircraft bombs and a sandstorm. The CGI of the sandstorm is a throwback to the 80s and it makes the special effects of a film like Hisss look good.

Final Verdict:

Welcome Back is an unbearable film that mocks your intelligence, breaches all the thresholds of stupidity and redefines the contempt with which many mainstream filmmakers treat their audiences these days. Nana Patekar and Anil Kapoor try hard but fail to save this sinking ship and you dearly miss the good old Akhsay Kumar who was the rock-solid anchor of Welcome.

Do yourself a favor and do not watch Welcome Back. You, I and all of us deserve much better.

Rating: * (1/5) - Poor

Manjhi–The Mountain Man Movie Review: Not Perfect but a Significant Film

You can also read this article on Mad About Moviez.

After watching Manjhi – The Mountain Man, I came out of the theater with a buzzing mind. My eyes had turned a bit moist towards the end of the film but I also had a slight ache quietly making its way into my head. I had a lot of questions running through my mind, several visuals were stuck in my head but, also, a strange sense of incompleteness had infiltrated my heart.

After a lot of deliberation between my head and heart, I realized that Manjhi is not a great but a very significant film. Significant because you should watch it to believe how a lot of love and a bit of madness can make a man take on the mountain, and how horrifying are the twin social evils of casteism and poverty. Why does it fall short of being a great film? Well, we will dig into that a little later.

If you realize, there is a flip side to Dashrath Manjhi’s otherwise fascinating story. The long and arduous journey of the Mountain Man, as he his fondly and rightly called, can actually be summed up in a couple of sentences- “Dashrath Manjhi, a poor landless laborer from Bihar, worked meticulously for 22 years to carve a road out of a mountain using only a chisel and hammer. Aggrieved by the untimely demise of his wife, who died due to lack of medical attention, Manjhi took it upon himself to wage a lonely war against the mighty mountain that blocked basic amenities from reaching his village.” That’s it.

Yes, Dashrath Manjhi’s story is of ultimate triumph of human spirit and determination against all odds but it’s elements of drama and struggle are watered down because of the huge time period that it covers. How exactly can you bring in the moments of struggle, happiness, dejection, joy and drama in the story of a man who does the same thing for good 22 years? To put it in a few words, Manjhi’s story does not have the typical contours of adventures that we usually associate with biographies and heroic stories. Keeping this aspect of the story in mind, you cannot help but appreciate director Ketan Mehta’s tenacity and honesty in putting together different beads of Dashrath Manjhi’s remarkable life into a singular and mostly cohesive strand.

At times, Ketan Mehta, who has films like Mangal Pandey and Rang Rasiya to his credit, does go overboard with flashbacks of romance and also meanders a little in a bid to deliver a fitting finale. But, more or less, the soul of Manjhi – The Moutain Man is always blemish free. In fact, the film does a good job of tracing significant events of Indian history through the prism of Manjhi’s life. The sequence where Manjhi actually comes face to face with none other than Indira Gandhi took me by complete surprise and so did his march to Delhi during the times of Emergency. It is these small and rather unknown snippets of Manjhi’s life that the film brings out brilliantly.

The film is crisp at 2 hours and 5 minutes but comes across as a little dragged because of the incoherent screenplay. Taking a non-linear approach of narration, the director shuffles between different time zones in 22 years, and it somehow breaks the rhythm of storytelling. These hiccups in storytelling aside, the film makes an honest bid to showcase the evils of untouchability and caste prejudice that existed in newly independent India.

Manjhi – The Mountain Man has some terrific moments that bring out the horrors of caste oppression and depressing poverty. There are chilling scenes of poor and landless villagers being brutally beaten up, left to live in extreme poverty or worst, left to die in a burning brick furnace. The film is equally efficient at highlighting the systemic issue of corruption and administrative apathy that plagues India and most of its underdeveloped states.

In the acting department, the film is an out and out Nawazuddin Siddiqui show with the talented actor putting up a very restrained and nuanced performance that is very different from what he has been doing so far. When Nawazuddin plays the younger Manjhi, there are elements of his trademark humor and earthy acting, but he actually comes into his own while portraying the much older, aggrieved and almost maniacal version of Manjhi. The pain, the anguish, the tears, the toil – Nawazuddin embodies all of these emotions to bring out a character that is carved with flesh and blood. The actor must have pushed his limits while shooting this film and it is clearly visible in scenes of great human struggle and survival.

Radhika Apte looks beautiful and gets into the character of Manjhi’s wife, Phagunia, with utmost ease and spontaneity. She is a complete natural and leaves a big impact in a role that is completely deglamorized and required dialogues to be delivered in unadulterated local dialect and Bihari accent. Pankaj Tripathi is fantastic as a cunning son of the village Zamindar and gets his accent and mannerisms spot on. Ditto for Tigmanshu Dhulia who somewhat reprises his Ramadhir Singh act of Gangs of Wasseypur.

The overall impact of the film suffers due to some tacky VFX and excessive use of Chroma in some of the scenes. Similarly, a couple of dream sequences look very unreal and add to the overall randomness of the middle portion of the film. The film’s music (Sandesh Sandilya and Hitesh Sonik) and background score is average while the dialogue are effective, crisp and as per the local flavor of Bihar.

Overall, Manjhi – The Mountain Man is sprinkled with some fine renditions of human struggle, madness and love. The sparkling chemistry of Nawazuddin Siddiqui and Radhika Apte lifts the film to a great extent and it is precisely because of this reason that you feel triumphant and joyous when Manjhi finally accomplishes his task. The film could have been much more than what it is, but it is definitely worth a watch for the sheer significance of the story and some honest portrayal of our society’s stark realities.

Rating: *** (Good)

Brothers Movie Review: Mother of Yawns and False Dawns

The review is also published on Mad About Moviez.

I haven’t yawned this much while watching a film in a long long time. Yes, Brothers is a rare gem of a film in that sense. But, I have had this feeling of ‘when will this film end’ for so many other Hindi films that have released this year. Brothers is truly run-of-mill in that sense.

Karan Malhotra, the director who gave us the commercially successful but perennially boring remake of the 90s cult classic Agneepath, comes back with another remake in form of Brothers (official remake of 2011 Hollywood film Warrior) and does exactly what he has done before – he bores us to death. Okay, near death (conceding the fact that I am still alive to write this review). At times, I struggle to respond to those ever-inquisitive souls who come up to you after you have watched a film and ask you – how was it? A film like Brothers makes your job easier – you can simply say ‘boring’ and the answer shall perfectly suffice.

Brothers is the story of two brothers (yes, you are a genius because you guessed it right), David Fernandes (Akshay Kumar) and Monty Fernandes (Sidharth Malhotra), who are victims of familial conflict courtesy their drunkard father Gary Fernandes (Jackie Shroff), who we are told is an ex-street fighter. Separated by cruel fate of destiny, the two brothers come face to face in a mixed martial arts competition called Right to Fight (R2F). Punches and kicks fly thick and fast as the two face off in a dramatic final leaving behind a trail of broken bones and smoothened emotions.

To be honest, Brothers has a riveting premise and it clearly reflects in the short description of the film that is given above. A drunkard father, a doting mother, two brothers who love each other but eventually fall apart, a tragic accident, street fighting, anger, repentance, forgiveness, redemption, underdog story, family melodrama – Brothers has all the ingredients of a typical Bollywood potboiler. But, sadly all these ingredients boil well over the brim and leave you with a bad taste in the mouth.

So what goes wrong with Brothers?

1. An unpardonable penchant for theatrics and melodrama: The background score in the film is so loud and boisterous that it almost becomes an overarching character. The director tries to force feed emotions to the audiences and it clearly does not work. There are times when the background score becomes so buoyant that you start searching for validation through visuals on the screen. But sadly, the proceedings on the screen remain dull and never really evoke strong emotions.
2. Lack of real emotions: Your eyes are never wet either when the brothers separate or predictably reunite towards the end. Much of the film’s first half is dedicated to pump up our emotions around the Fernandes family but you never really root for or hate any of the principal characters. Emotions fall flat on face perhaps because there is no room of subtlety in Brothers. Crucifixes, tattoos, cut marks on the same spot for every fighter, slow motion flashbacks, church shots – all of these stereotypical elements are thrown on your face and you are supposed to sob. Sorry, it does not work.
3. Marathon Runtime: With a runtime of nearly 2 hours and 40 minutes, Brothers is a remarkable snooze fest. The first half goes on and on to establish the characters and plot, while the second half just never stops with its montages of fight sequences and tacky commentary scenes. There are simply too many loo breaks and yawn distractions – a tighter editing would have helped Brothers salvage some of its pride.
4. An obnoxious ‘item song’: I have never come across a more pointless and lecherous ‘item song’ than ‘Mera Naam Mary Hai’. Principally, I am not opposed to the idea of an item song in a Bollywood potboiler as long as it serves some purpose in the narrative. Karan Malhotra’s Agneepath had an enjoyable item song in Chikni Chameli, but Mary arrives on the scene with no prior warnings and goes out without doing much. An item songs leading up to a film’s intermission? Really? Also, I wonder what made Kareena Kapoor Khan say yes to such a poorly written song with distasteful dance moves.
5. Uninspiring Support Cast: You have Ashutosh Rana in your support cast and you make him carry bottles in and out of the fighting ring. This is just one of the instances of talented actors being cast in rather insignificant roles in Brothers. Jackie Shroff is impressive in some scenes but accepting him as Akshay Kumar’s father seems a little difficult. True to his age, Shroff looks like Akshay’s elder brother and especially because the director decides not to shave off Akshay’s white beard and chest hair! Shefali Shah makes an impact in some of the emotional scenes and reminds us about her immense acting potential. Sidharth Malhotra looks a complete misfit and does little except for glaring and growling. It’s sad to see him struggle to get his emotions and body language right in a role that required immense intensity and dedication.
6. Lukewarm Fight Sequences: Let’s not forget that despite its brutal display of contrived emotions and melodrama, Brothers is essentially a sports film. It is perhaps the first time that a film on mixed martial arts (MMA) and street fighting has been attempted in Bollywood. But sadly, despite all the build-up and staged pre-launch media madness, the fight sequences fail to make an impact. The fighters look more comical than menacing, our two heroes look more tired and aggrieved than motivated and driven. Both the opening and final fight scenes are big letdowns with the audience (in the theater) wondering what to do and whom to cheer for!

There are a very few likeable aspects of Brothers. And Akshay Kumar is one of them. The actor comes up with a nuanced and restrained performance that is very different from the mostly comical or out-and-out action-oriented roles that he has been doing off late. Jacqueline Fernandez (the only real Fernandez in a film of Fernandes’) looks believable in a brief role. The film’s cinematography is above average but other technical departments leave you asking for more – especially the editing department, which seems to have gone on a vacation. The film’s music (Ajay Atul) is a letdown with none of the songs registering in your memory.

Overall, Brothers buys an age-old Bollywood formula from a Hollywood film and makes a mega mess of it. The film is a sleep-inducing cocktail of sibling rivalry, familial discord and sports extravaganza that tries to be too many things at the same time. And most worryingly, it tries to pass off exaggerated melodrama via some in-your-face theatrics but ends up with mud on its own face.

This Independence Day, you deserve freedom for this Karan Malhotra sham of a film.

Rating: *1/2 (Poor)

Bangistan Movie Review: Only if There Were More Laughs

A film critic turning into a film director is a mouthwatering prospect. Karan Anshuman does the courageous act with Bangistan and you expect the nitty gritties of the film to be tightened. After all, those who throw stones at others should know how to save themselves if those stones are tossed back at them!

Interestingly, Karan Anshuman’s directorial debut Bangistan manages to convince us about its well-intentioned core message but fails to keep all its eggs in one basket. The film, although quirky and innovative at places, is bogged down by a wayward screenplay that clearly lacks one essential element that makes satires work – humor. More on this later.

The film is set in the fictional nation of ‘Bangistan’, where Muslims hold sway in the North while the Hindus have South as their stronghold. A small little animation in the beginning shows us the exact location of Bangistan on the world map and the irony of Bangistan’s location being akin to that of India and Pakistan is not lost on us. There are also a few delightful pun-ny references to Star*ucks, FcDonald’s, extremist Mullahs proclaiming their love for diet coke and Hindu and Muslim religious leaders informally referring to the Pope as ‘Popchi’.

Praveen Chaturvedi (Pulkit Samrat), obviously a Hindu from ‘South Bangistan’ (yes, some of the interpretations and references in the film are way too simplistic) is an aspiring actor who is duped by a local Hindu extremist outfit ‘Maa Ka Dal’ and its head Guru ji (Kumud Mishra) into a suicide mission. On the other side of the spectrum is Hafiz Bin Ali (Riteish Deshmukh) aka Harold of the BPO world, who opts for a similar mission after being coerced by the chief of a wannabe Jihadi outfit ‘Al-Kaam Tamaam’. Interestingly, the chief of Al-Kaam Tamaam is again played by Kumud Mishra and you can’t help but appreciate the subtle messaging behind it. Yes, all the extremists, whether Hindu or Muslim, are basically two sides of the same coin! Good job on that part, Mr. Anshuman.

The action then shifts to Poland where the two bombers arrive to bomb (well, obviously!) a religions’ conference where leaders of their faith are about to give message of peace and harmony. In a film that has a liner and simplistic style of storytelling, you are impressed by the context setting and how the director drives home some sarcastic and satirical points. But while the first half is breezy and crisp, true to the film’s satirical core, the second half meanders a little into the preachy mode. Some sequences on religious tolerance and Hindu-Muslim bonhomie are so preachy and predictable that you feel like yawning. The reason behind why the two suicide bombers decide to ‘become each other’ is also never clear and it comes across more as a ploy to push through the discourse on religious harmony.

Bangistan scores well in the departments of satire and sarcasm. Sample this, a night club in Poland where the two wannabe terrorists hang out is called ‘Bull and Boar’ – a subtle reference to the widely held religious beliefs about these two animals in Hinduism and Islam respectively. Also, the director pays some smart odes to great films and filmmakers of the past through its support cast. For instance, Tamim Hussain (Chandan Roy Sanyal), a Bangladeshi taxi driver in Poland, addresses himself in the third person as ‘Citizen Hussain’. All of this satire and subtle humor is present throughout the film but strangely the laughs are missing!

If Tere Bin Laden and Filmistaan are still remembered and widely regarded as two of the finest satirical films on terror, it is because these two films made us laugh effortlessly. Bangistan does not do that. Most of the jokes or one-liners fall flat, you smile and giggle at times, but never really laugh out loud. Reasons? One, the dialogues could have definitely been funnier. It seems the writers 

invested way too much in setting up satirical situations and references but fell short just a bit when it came to infusing humor in the dialogues. Interestingly, some of the film’s songs are very well-written (lyricist Puneet Krishna is also credited as one of the screenplay writers). Special mention for the well-meaning and brilliant lyrics of ‘Hogi Kraanti Chaaro Or’ and ‘Is Duniya Se Ladna Hai’.

Another reason why Bangistan fails to evoke laughter could be its mediocre casting. Pulkit Samrat overacts sometimes and tries to imitate Salman Khan on occasions. One should definitely not write him off as an actor yet but he certainly can work on improving his comic timing. Kumud Mishra who has the tempting job of playing both the Hindu and Muslim extremist is strictly average and is more stereotypical than natural. Ditto for Chandan Roy Sanyal, who looks slightly disinterested, perhaps put off by the tiny size of his role. Prateek Babbar, who plays one of the jihadis, looks and acts like a buffoon, and makes you laugh unintentionally. Yes, Bangistan should have opted for a better support cast.

But, one actor who holds his ground and in fact comes up with a matured and layered performance is Riteish Deshmukh. You can’t help but get impressed by his natural flair for comedy and the newfound penchant for versatility. He is gawky, sweet, enraged and funny as per the demand of the situations and carries the burden of Bangistan like Hercules. Jacqueline Fernandez appears in a cameo and has nothing much to do apart from gyrating on a wannabe club song.

All said and done, Bangistan is a well-intentioned film with a noble message that is dragged down by lack of humor, a below par support cast and a climax so Bollywood-ish that you cringe in your seat. Watch it if you can digest satire when humor is not served as a side dish or if you are ready to avail discount on entertainment for the sake of the ultimate message.

Rating: *** (Good)