Jun 10, 2011

A (Drunk) Man's Best Friend

Alcohol is my way of getting closer to the almighty. I experience orgasmic illusions, divine hallucinations and several other visual/non-visual sensations of this order, every time I am drunk. You may find me weird but try and get into my psyche. You will understand what I mean. That feeling of being ‘free’ and ‘on top of the world’ can only be achieved when a certain amount of alcohol embraces your blood.

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My friend CB is an asshole, a teetotaler to be precise. I never wish CB long life on birthday. What’s the point of living a long life when it’s not sprinkled with colorful, volatile and semi-soluble liquids. You may think that I am very rude, how can I say such things about a person whom I call as a friend. But I don’t mind that you think this way, I am sure CB would not take it otherwise. CB is a sweetheart, like a tiny little bird residing in a cozy nest.

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I have always tried to locate a best friend in my life. You know it's very necessary that you have a best friend in your life. Not only he/she is supposed to help you swim across troubled waters, double your joy when you are happy and provide unconditional support, but also make it to the ‘featured friends’ section of Facebook. A best friend should be like a movie poster, glitzy and glamorous, worth attaching your name with.

Let’s rule out women from contention straightaway. All men suffer from some serious diseases related to adrenalin and libido. How so ever, asexual they might pretend to be, there would be a moment in time, when they will think for her ‘that way’. And needless to say, women as best friends would bring in some unwanted baggage like commitment, truthfulness, decency, secretiveness, loyalty and several other such humongous concepts. And most importantly, she would never ever let a sexy, smoldering-hot girlfriend enter your life. If given a chance, she would hook you up with a cow or a duck for that matter.

Those who say that things like books, music and teddy are their best friends are great losers. They just try and hide the fact that they do not have a best friend in their life. You must have a living thing by your side, when you require. What’s the point in crying while submerging your face inside the teddy, when all it can do is quickly soak the salty liquid.

I also rule out Girlfriend and family members from the list. I will not explain, why I have left them out. I am drunk, you are supposed to be in senses. And if you are in senses, you would know that being a 'man' you would never share all your secrets with your Girlfriend (Until you happen to be a pet dog) or with any of your family members (Until you are straight out of some daily soap).

That leaves me only with the option of men. A man can be a man's best friend. Yes of course, they can share dirty jokes, collaborate in women scanning, sit over for a drink, smoke, the list is endless. But, is that all in a man's life? Perhaps, I am coming back to my senses, so whatever I say now onwards is supposed to be taken seriously.

Why men bond only over women, drinks, cricket and things like that? Why do they talk less and hope to be understood more? What makes them so egoistic, stubborn when it comes to reacting to situations and persons ? No answers. No one has answers.

"For us friendship is like a engine that never runs out of gas. We kick around but leave imprints rather than cracks." I continued with my sermon.

"Please shut up. I have been hearing this all night long" CB finally spoke up.

"Look, I am not drunk. But, I feel like telling it to you. You are my best friend. You are exceptional" I shook vigorously while speaking. CB smiled at me. 

"You also consider me as your best friend. Say, yes." I was expectant.

"Yes, we are good friends." CB said

"Why just good friends, why not best friends, just because I am drunk. No one wants to be Drunk Man's Best Friend. Sad!" I was disappointed.

"Look into my eyes, can you see something" 

Next moment, I was kissing CB (Chetna Bakshi) passionately. She became A Drunk Man's Best Friend, at least for next few minutes..err..Hours. 



P.S. : There must have been some very good logic while designating the role of 'A Man's Best Friend" to Dogs.  

27 comments:

  1. shit...hehheheheh... loved it..i have no words to describe how happy i am .. u can consider me drunk ... i usually am ... i cant be ur drunk best friend but u can be mine...... since i hav no fear about u letting on my secrects....heheheh ...

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  2. Kya matlab hua poore post ka? :P
    Can you explain please?

    Aur pehla comment bhi anonymous :D

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  3. @ Anonymous: Thanks Buddy, But Would Like To Know 'Who are you' ? :)

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  4. @lebnox: I am drunk, You are supposed to make sense (if any) ;). The interpretation is up to you. Let me know what u can make of it :)

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  5. OMG....this was hilarious...hehhehehe
    and about a woman being a man's best friend...ummmm...I blv for a woman...a man can prove to be a perfect friend...dunn kw bout the other way around ..if all man think for der female friend ‘that way’:-P

    Btw I loved the post...was waiting for it lyk nethin!

    :-)

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  6. Thank You So Much Mansi. Little doubts about the post have vanished after reading your comment.:)

    And Yes, do not take things written in the post seriously, I was drunk, Mind It ;) Ofc, Men and Women can be great friends :D

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  7. ohkkk!!!! pretty witty and funny!!
    i loved it n i totally agree wid d fact that a man and a women can be best frnz, if they do not get into a relationship as in ur wrds, HUGE BAGGAGE COMES ALONG!!! and i think its vice versa as well! ;)

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  8. Buddy I am just a friend.... A Drunk Best Friend....guess ....if u can.... who I m ? ;-)

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  9. @Soumya: Thank You :) I was looking forward to your reaction. I am glad you liked it ;) :D

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  10. @Anonymous: All I can make out is that in all probability you are a 'man', I mean a guy, not a girl :P ;)Tell me if I am right :)

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  11. And what are the probablities my buddy .....love budwiser.....;-)

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  12. Let me Guess, You are Rohan Patel :)

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  13. Hheehhhhhheh...... Wrong guess buddy .....thinkkkkk harder.... Well look I m slurring ...heehe....

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  14. Please End the suspense. Let me know who you are :)

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  15. I want my blog to have one more follower..;) Not an anonymous visitor :)

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  16. I m really out today buddddy.......heat and whiskey took the toll todday......hehe.....waise bhi whats in a name

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  17. @ Lebnox: The idea was to explore friendship, Best friend thing..Mostly from a guy's POV as well as set some general thumb rules (Book, teddy wala para)....the end twisted to let you interpret Best Friend on your own

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  18. looks like you don't like a visitor on your blog buddy ....

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  19. What makes you think this way dear? :)

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  20. it refreshed me.. full on entertainer !!

    I was expecting something else in the start but it went pretty smoothly, adored the way u hv layered it (thoda pseudo type si line hai but it is act. smartly layered), lovley :)

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  21. Thank You Ram, I am Glad you liked it :)

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  22. u removed my comment buddy .... :(

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  23. I really loved the open-ended climax. :)

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