Mar 8, 2012

To Rahul, With Rancor (Bura Na Mano Holi Hai)

Dear Rahul G,

Today is Holi. It is a festival of colors celebrated in India. India is a country, of which Uttar Pradesh is a state. Now, I am sure, this letter has caught your attention. UP is to you what red color is to a bull. Color again reminds me of Holi. And as the tradition goes, you must not mind the mud thrown at you on the occasion of this wonderful festival.

So, we can clearly see that you are red-faced. No, not because of the festival of colors but due to that hammering in the festival of democracy. I had warned you beforehand. Parachuting to a Dalit's house for picnic or cooking up stories at Bhatta Parsaul wont help your cause. (Read: To Rahul, With Rancor) I had also urged you to come out clean on your vision and ambition. What do you promise and offer to this country? What do you stand for? And, who are you at first place? But alas, you did not pay heed. (Read: To Rahul, With Rancor-2) You pay heed to nobody. You ignore media. Sorry, this time people ignored you. I wrote you two long letters! You know what it takes to blog? You know what it takes to blog about you? What Rahul G? I am sure even Parle-G would have paid heed after so much of effort. Ok, bad one. But again, it's Holi. I warned you.

I want to pay you some respect. Please don't mind. Respect for coming out from your shell, and owning up the responsibility for UP fiasco. And now, I take back that respect. For not turning up at your party's meet to discuss what went wrong. I know Congress is run from your mother's kitchen and you discuss your strategies with her at the dinner table, but still this is not done. This shows that you are an arrogant and a weak man. You can not look into adversity's eyes. You are far from ground realities. Your chopper is no match for Akhilesh's cycle. And you are not sympathetic and compassionate towards your own party members.

All throughout your campaign in UP, you faked aggression. You tore papers. People tore your party apart. You shouted against almost every political leader. The people shut you up. By now, you must have known that you are good at attracting crowd. You are a handsome Gandhi. People are bound to queue up to see you. But they will vote only for people they trust. And you failed to win people's trust.

To be honest, I also sympathize with you. You worked really hard to make a difference for your party. But you went horribly wrong in your calculations. You dreamed of forming government while your last tally was just 22. Your promises were lofty, far away and way high from the ground. Being a politician, how could you not read the writing on the wall? How could not you assess the ground realities, your party's actual prospects? Why did you continue to be ill-advised by a bunch of loud-mouth, moth-faced politicians? And the biggest sin of them all, how could you trust and entrust a joker like Digvijay Singh with so many responsibilities?

I pity you for being painted red this Holi. Hence, I made sure that I use coal black font color for writing this letter. I still wish you good luck for future. And I wish you and your family and your party a very happy Holi. Times change. Your day under the orange sun will come. Just make sure that you clean your face and heart properly after playing Holi.

With Rancor,

A Non-Congressman


  1. Glad that you liked it 'AK'! Happy Holi to you! :)

  2. I sooooooooooooo wanted to say the exact things. Though, I have always been an ignorant in the field of politics, but lately I had started following UP elections and this idiot. Glad he did not win. Moron.

    Well, as usual, superbly written. Hope all these letters reach him someday! :D

  3. hahahhaaaa.... such a LOL-baaz write-up this was :D :D.. humour was titillating...rahul baba :P :P.. today was a lengthy day but this note refreshed me... (na jaaney kyun netaaOn ki bashing padhne se itni shanti kyun milti hai)

    nice.. :)